Reiss Nelson Yegon

09/08/2024

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Sam S Korir Meli, Johnte Kamum

09/08/2024

Dad : Who do u like more, mum or dad?
Son : Both
Dad : Okay, if I go to Malaysia and your mum goes to Dubai , where will you go?
Son : Dubai
Dad : That shows u love your mum more?
Son : No, it shows i love Dubai more than Malaysia
Dad : Okay, if i go to Dubai and your mum goes to Malaysia , where will u go?
Son : Malaysia
Dad : Replied angrily, why?
Son :🤣🤣🤣🤣why the anger, I chose Malaysia because I have been to Dubai before
Dad : When did you go to Dubai ?
Son : During the first question
😂😂😂😂😂

You are laughing right? May joy and laughter never depart from you. 😂😂

Bless me with a follow 🙏

18/03/2024

I'm back. You are my roots keep my move on

13/01/2024

Back to roots

12/01/2024

24/10/2023

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."

21/09/2023

When a Lion kills the village witch, you don't celebrate, you kill the lion. Next time it might kill the village priest.

09/09/2023

PC Kibet and Pastor Nganga

Yesterday, Super Cop Police Constable Kibet - popularly nicknamed "James Bond" by locals - from Parklands Police Station, pulled over Pastor Ng'ang'a along Ojijo Road for exceeding the speed limit.

Upon realizing the gravity of the situation, Pastor Ng'ang'a, trying to assert some dominance, retorted, “Don’t you not recognize me? I am Pastor Ng'ang'a, the Chief General Commander of the army of the Lord! Be assured, I am not a thief."

However, setting the stage for a showdown of wit and wills, Officer Kibet unimpressed and now even more agitated, shot back, “If you truly are Pastor Ng'ang'a, you must surely have a Bible in your car. Toka and bring it with you.”

Without missing a beat, Pastor Ng'ang'a produced not only his Bible but also anointing oil, hoping these symbols would be his ticket
out of the sticky situation.

Challenging him further, Officer Kibet said, "Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me."

With a hint of nervousness masked by confidence, Pastor Ng'ang'a read out loud: “When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny." (Matthew 5:25-26 NLT)

This biblical passage left Pastor Ng'ang'a, the so-called commander of God's army, in utter shock. Realizing the gravity of the passage's implication, he "generously" offered his "Tithe of KSH five hundred shillings to his unexpected "Bishop."

Smirking, the officer accepted the Tithe and imparted one last piece of wisdom: “You see, commander? That's the end of our matter. Go in peace and remember: policemen don't merely collect bribes. We settle matters swiftly and harmoniously, ensuring no one ends up behind bars. Think of it as a divine intervention of sorts."
Reiss Nelson Yegon

09/09/2023

A Girl Returns Home After 30 Years.

DAD: (Angry) Where the hell have you been all these years???

GIRL: I was working as a Prôstitute in the Vietnam.

DAD: What!!.... Get out of my house,You Whôre, I don't want to see your face Again do you understand?!!

GIRL: (Crying) Before I go Dad, I came to give you $10million cheque, and here is $2 million for my brother. I have bought a big house in UK for you with everything in it including a Ferarri and a Bugati. Bye Dad.

DAD: (Smiling) What kind of work did you say you were doing in Vietnam??

GIRL: (Crying out loud) A Prôstitute Dad!!!

DAD: Come and give Daddy a hug, I thought you said you were a "Prosecutor."

26/07/2023

Nikichukua Socks za Uncle yangu nivae tunasema nimevaa UNCLE SOCKS ama?☝️

24/07/2023

Blessed week ahead

20/07/2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!

A diesel tanker carrying 33,000 litres of petrol yesterday in the afternoon was on a very high speed along Kitale-Nairobi highway when the driver spotted a boda man who was also on high speed coming towards him.Meanwhile the boda man was carrying a 7 months old .pregnant woman who was just coming back from the General Hospital. To cut the story short, as they got closer to each other the tanker driver looked closely and identified the rider to be his childhood friend. They both slowed down, stopped, hugged each other, spoke for a while and continued their journey.

Have a Good day.
Korir frasha

15/07/2023

I don’t know your challenges.

It’s my prayer that God will come through for you as soon as possible.

13/07/2023

If you like love stories follow Chriswould events & stories you will enjoy

12/07/2023

A father passing by his son's bedroom, noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that ma*****na doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the co***ne and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it. Don't worry Dad, I'm fifteen (15), and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh!!"

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at my big brother Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school exams and academic report that's on the kitchen table. Call me when it is safe for me to come home!!
Reiss Nelson Yegon

04/07/2023

Na muache kutembelea watu lunch time wamechoka kuoga na maji ya ugali🥺

02/07/2023

Wacha nipelekee pastor hii 200/= mtoto wake asikose za jaba.
Shalom!

01/07/2023

Good English is very important there is nothing like "How was your day" is either you say "How was your day" or rather say "How was your day" The "How" is supposed to come before "Was" then followed by "Day" so stop saying "How was your day" and start saying "How was your day".😎
😮😮😮😵ujinga utaacha coz ata mimi sijui unajifunza nini