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24/05/2023

How to Control Anger Before It Destroys Your Future
By NGOZI NWOKE

"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city" King Solomon. Anger is destructive and is a destroyer of destinies. Many people have lost jobs, relationships, and opportunities, all because of anger. Also, some people are in prison houses, wasting their fruitful years simply because they did not control their anger. Anger is an emotion that must be controlled before it destroys your great future.
You need to understand that anger stems from selfishness, lack of wisdom and understanding. In Ecclesiastes 7:9, Solomon made it clear that anger rests in the bosom of fools. A man of wisdom and understanding will control his anger and overlook certain wrongs done to him. People get angry because they are considering themselves, how bad their pride or ego has been injured, how their time, energy or money was wasted, etc.
Does it mean you are never to be angry? I will say NO, because there is also time for you to be angry. For instance, you need to be angry enough when things are not working well to force yourself to take steps to change the situation. The question is what do you do when you are angry? Also how long does it linger? Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (KJV)
So, how do you control Anger before it destroys your future?

Don't consider you first.
Sometimes, people don't intentionally do things to make you angry. Be wise enough to take a breath and consider the scenario before acting. Through experience, I have learned that such short breaks diffuse the anger and allow you to think well and make the right decision.
Make no friendship with a hot-tempered man
Evil communication corrupts good manners. If you continue with such a person, you will learn his/her ways and snare your future. Proverbs 22:24-25
Watch your words
Words are powerful and are seeds that when declared will bring forth a harvest. Don't confess how easily you get angry; instead say how difficult it is for you to get angry. Let the words - anger or angry - not be part of your usual vocabulary.
Walk away
This is not a sign of weakness but of strength and great wisdom. When you sense anger building up within you, you need to just walk away from the scene or person. That moment is not the right time to say or do anything. Anger stirs up strife and develops problems that could have been avoided.
Ask for God's help.
God crowns your effort to control anger with His own power. Many people have tried to control anger but failed because they didn't ask for God's help. Anger is a force that is out to destroy you, so you need a higher force to overcome it.
Don't be angry with yourself
If in the process of learning to control your anger you miss it, don't tear yourself apart. Every success story had failures to fight with on the way. So, learn from your mistake and be determined to overcome next time.
Anger is a snare that should not be played with or tolerated. Many success stories were cut short merely because of anger. Your future is bright, great and colourful. Nothing should be allowed to destroy it, especially anger. How else can you control anger?

24/05/2023

DELIGHTING IN THE MISFORTUNE OF OTHERS
Many of us seem to delight in the misfortune of others. Perhaps this is a defense mechanism meant to protect us
from further loss of self-esteem.
How do we feel when we discover that something good has happened to someone we know? Are we genuinely
happy for that person? On the other hand, what if we learn about a misfortune that has befallen that same individual?
Not everyone delights in the good fortune that others experience. Although, the supposed benevolent side of human
nature should move us to be happy for others, sometimes this is not at all what we feel. Perhaps we may even
experience a tinge of envy when people we know have it better than us.
Why is it that the news almost always features the tragic side of life. Crime, corruption and the tragedies that befall us
have become the staple of our daily news. Have we become desensitized by the constant exposure to these
unseemly occurrences. It would even appear that we no longer feel revulsion when faced with these realities. In fact,
some may even be driven by a morbid fascination at seeing the victims of lawlessness or the horrific catastrophes
that others experience.
And when we look at the so-called tv drama shows, there is often an element of misery that befall the protagonists in
the story. Again, it would seem that viewers patronize these shows because of it.
But maybe the media is culpable for having conditioned us to see only the tragic and the criminal. At the same time it
may also be the fault of the viewer for not exercising his right to a responsible choice of shows.
On a more personal level, why is it that many of us tend to engage in gossip about the negative things that happen to
the people we know? Why does it seem that we love hearing about the troubles of others?
Whether we are watching tragic news or gossiping about other people, there is one thing in common in all of these.
It is that many of us seem to delight in the misfortune of others.
But what drives us to feel this way? Perhaps it is our own miseries, our own burdens or our own misfortunes that
draw from deep within the need to feel that others have it worse than us. We want to know that we are not the only
ones suffering. And we do this so that we do not bury ourselves in self pity.
Perhaps this mind set is a defense mechanism meant to protect us from further loss of self-esteem. It may even be a
product of an unconscious mental process for survival. After all, if we believe we have it worst than everyone else,
we may fall prey to acts of desperation or suicidal depression.
However, constantly engaging in a defense mechanism is unhealthy in itself, because it causes us to disengage from
the reality of our own lives. If we perceive our lives to be miserable, then we should constructively address what
makes it so Find Article, instead of merely reveling in the more tragic misfortunes of others.

23/04/2023

HIDDEN BENEFITS OF FAILURE
OGAGA ERUTEYA

Whether it is an exam, a business, an interview or just any other venture, failure is not something desirable.

But sometimes it happens.

And when it does, it comes along with valuable lessons.

However, whether we will profit from failure or not, depends on how we respond. If you respond positively every time you fail, by consciously picking yourself up, and sincerely trying to avoid a repeat, then you will notice the advantages failure brings along.

Here are five of the benefits failure offers:

#1. It Helps You to Know What Will Not Work
Before Thomas Edison succeeded with the invention of a light bulb, he had failed at several attempts.

In an 1890 interview in Harper’s Monthly Magazine, Edison said,

“‘I speak without exaggeration when I say that I have constructed three thousand different theories in connection with the electric light, each one of them reasonable and apparently to be true. Yet only in two cases did my experiments prove the truth of my theory.'”

But Edison knew that failure had its positives.

So, when his friend and associate Walter Mallory, asked him, ‘Isn’t it a shame that with the tremendous amount of work you have done you haven’t been able to get any results?’ Edison turned on him like a flash, and with a smile replied: ‘Results! Why, man, I have gotten lots of results! I know several thousand things that won’t work!'”

#2. It Helps You to See What You Are Missing, Neglecting or Ignoring
When you fail and you honestly decide to figure out what made you stumble, you will suddenly begin to see things in a clearer light. You will discover things you never observed to be crucial. You will realize what you neglected or ignored and you will notice what the missing link was.

By the time your next attempt is due, you’ll realize you are better prepared.

Not only that, you now possess information that makes you a valuable resource because you know what must be given attention to for failure to be avoided.

#3. It Provides You the Opportunity to Become Better
As you genuinely make efforts to avoid a repeat failure, you inevitably become better.

Assuming you failed a course in school for instance, you find yourself getting better and more knowledgeable at it as you work diligently to prevent another failure.

If you failed at a competition, or didn’t deliver a speech well, as you strive to excel in the subsequent edition, you see yourself improving by the day.

#4. It Gives You Experience that Proves Handy for You and Others Later
Sometimes when we fail, it just happens to be a blessing in disguise for us (and for others) in later situations.

That episode of failure and the lessons it taught you often sticks to your memory; and so, it helps you to confront similar situations in time to come.

Meanwhile, because experiential knowledge is very powerful and convincing, your experience can help the other person know how to scale his or her own hurdle.

Once you tell someone, ‘It once happened to me or I have done it before’, it sends a very striking message.

#5. It Prepares You for the Big Stage
Every path in life has different stages. For everything we fail at, there will always be a bigger stage ahead.

When a student fumbles in a test, it is just to help him avoid failure in the exams – which is a bigger stage.

By giving us a smaller embarrassment early on, failure saves us from shame on the big one. It motivates us to prepare hard to avoid a repeat embarrassment when more eyes will be watching and the stakes are higher.