20/01/2023
THE STRUGGLES OF BEING AN INTROVERT
If you are an introvert, then you know how taxing and overwhelming it can be. Some people assume we are rude or proud because we are not bold and outgoing, but it’s just because most conversations take place in our heads. Our minds are usually messy from analyzing and overthinking situations to thinking of the worst-case scenarios possible.
In A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman says, "many people find it difficult to live with someone who likes being alone." People who feel the impact of staying with quiet people are those close to them.
I’m an introvert and when I am in my imaginary world, people assume I am stressed, sad, miserable, and falling. Well, this might be the case, but not all the time. Here are a few things you should know about us.
We Can’t Just Break Out Of Our Shells
Many times I’ve been told to break out of my shell and put myself out there. What people don’t understand is that we are the shell and the shell is us. And as they say, what God has put together, let no man put asunder.
The shell is our life. We laugh, make loud noises, and somehow manage to create an amazing metaverse there. It’s in the shell that we prepare a Grammy’s speech if we win a God-knows-what award and recall the time a crush talked to us and a bubble of mucus flew out of our nose, the only day they said hi. So, you asking us to break out of our shells is like suffocating us to death.
We Are Not As Quiet As You Think We Are
I believe introverts are an interesting bunch of people. We love talking especially around people we are comfortable with. Suddenly, all the layers of shyness and overthinking slip away for a few minutes or so. My mouth will be like a cassette and I’ll spew out details until someone has to hit the pause button.
We also hate small talk. It is depressing. And crowds of people too. Like, can we just go home, be alone with our thoughts and think about the end of the world? Or the interesting yoghurt flavours we currently have, like pineapple and Kiwi? Being quiet doesn’t also mean we don’t enjoy being in the company of other people. We do. Though sometimes, it can be too much work, and overwhelming and often, we have to recharge.
Spending Friday Nights Alone Isn’t As Bad As You Make It Look Like
Introverts are people who are comfortable in and with their own company. We thrive in solitude. But being alone doesn’t mean we are lonely. One of our best times is when we are alone, curled up on the sofa watching something interesting.
While other people find it fun to hang out in clubs, with deafening loud music, people gyrating on others with the club smelling like sweat, we just prefer a little silence. A place where people can have a conversation.
I don’t love hanging out in clubs because, the grandma in me can tell the DJ to reduce the volume, a move that can make people beat and throw me out of the club. Extroverts can light up a room and infect others with their lively energy and vibration, but we are usually the flowers on the wall, invisible as if not present at all.
Could You Just Text Instead Of Calling?
We need at least 3-5 business days to get ready for a call and write all the details down to know what exactly we need to say. Calling randomly first gives us anxiety and second, we overthink about what to say and mess things up.
Sometimes, calls from friends and family go unanswered not because we don’t care but because we need to be in the right mental space and energized enough to have a conversation. Also, having a conversation in a matatu where everyone is listening to you? Guys, how do you do it?
We Are self-conscious And Overthink A Lot
Because most conversations happen in our heads, we are always overanalyzing and overthinking stuff. For example, you might be walking and feel as if you are walking funny or maybe you forgot to apply lotion on your feet and now the whole world is staring at your ashy legs. At times It can feel as if people are watching your every move while in reality, people are minding their business.
