28/06/2023
Ruby's Raw Reflections on the World of Hook-up
In the vibrant city of Accra, where lives intertwine and tales unfold, I met Ruby—a determined young woman forging her own path. Behind her warm smile and determined eyes, Ruby carried a secret known to few. She worked as a hookup girl, exploring the hidden realms of a world often misunderstood. This is her story, told in her own words, filled with bravery, sacrifice, and the pursuit of survival in a society where judgments cast a long shadow.
"I turned 26 last month, and my name is Ruby. Growing up in Accra with my mother and younger sister, we faced numerous hardships. Our father was absent, burdening us with debts and leaving us struggling to make ends meet. To support my family, I made the difficult decision to enter the world of s*x work.
My journey began when I discovered the Jodel app, which provided an anonymous platform to connect with potential clients. It was a way to maintain some privacy and security in an industry that can be unpredictable. The app opened doors to a wide range of opportunities and desires.
Navigating the anonymous nature of Jodel was both exciting and challenging. With a simple post stating 'hookup available,' I attracted the attention of many interested men. To ensure my safety, I used an anonymous Telegram account to engage in serious conversations with potential clients. Some even requested pictures to confirm if I was their type.
In every encounter, I insisted on protection, prioritizing my health and well-being. It was a non-negotiable aspect of my work, even though some clients would arrive without condoms. In those cases, I had to provide them at an extra fee, ensuring their safety and mine. It was an added responsibility that came with the job.
To safeguard my identity, I used different fake names for each encounter. From Bernice to Bianca, Ama to Precious, I adopted various personas to maintain a sense of anonymity. It was a necessary measure to protect myself from potential harm and to keep a level of detachment from the intimate moments shared with strangers.
My motivation to pursue s*x work came from the desperate circumstances my family faced. We were evicted from our home due to unpaid rent, forcing us to live in an unfinished building. To keep us sheltered, I even had to make compromises with our previous landlord. It was a difficult decision, but my family's well-being was my priority. My mother was aware of my involvement, as she herself had resorted to sleeping with other men to provide for us. Many of these men had promised to support her business ideas but instead took advantage of her vulnerability.
As I delved deeper into s*x work, my perception of the industry began to change. I realized the risks involved and the misconceptions that surrounded it. Each encounter meant stepping into the unknown, meeting strangers in hotels or private residences. It was a constant reminder of the vulnerability and uncertainty I faced.
Amidst the challenges, there were memorable moments that stood out. One particular experience involved being paid to be an es**rt for a beach hangout. My client wanted me to accompany him as his girl. We arrived at the beach and had a wild time with his friends and other ladies. However, things took an unexpected turn when my client took me back to his car with the intention of having s*x. I did what was required of me until he abruptly got out of the car, making way for one of his friends to continue with the act. Initially, I refused because it wasn't part of our agreement, but the friends convinced me by offering to pay me more. Truthfully, there wasn't much I could do in that situation. It was late, and these boys could have res
orted to force. Reluctantly, I gave in, driven by the need for money instead.
Maintaining boundaries between my personal life and work as a s*x worker has been a struggle. My focus has shifted entirely to taking care of my family. However, I do have a boyfriend who is aware of my profession. It's a complex dynamic, and I often wonder if he is with me for genuine reasons or the financial support I provide.
There are many misconceptions surrounding s*x work, and I wish more people would understand the diverse experiences within the industry. Each person's journey is unique, and it's important to challenge the stereotypes and prejudices associated with s*x work.
In my opinion, the best way to support and protect s*x workers is through legalization. It's time to acknowledge the reality and provide resources, safety measures, and support systems for those involved in the industry. By doing so, we can create a safer and more empowered environment for s*x workers.
This is my story, and I hope it sheds light on the complexities and challenges faced by individuals like me. S*x work has allowed me to support my family, but it also exposes me to risks and uncertainties. Understanding and compassion can go a long way in breaking down the stigmas associated with s*x work and paving the way for a more inclusive society."
Img source: Getty images
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