14/12/2025
Christmas isn’t always a joyous time for everyone – for me, it certainly wasn’t for many years. Seeing the news over the weekend about a disrupted Christmas market attack in Germany has brought up a lot of reflection for me.
On the 19th December 2016 I was at the Berlin Christmas market attack. I was lucky in a sense, I walked away physically uninjured – mentally though I can’t say the same. I am a resilient person, but it’s something that’s stayed with me for years. I am grateful and lucky to say with time, therapy and support I’ve come to understand it for what it was and know that it wasn’t personal against me. These people work to make large swathes of people afraid, with no thought as to who will be on the receiving end.
Over the last 12 months, I’ve reflected on how, when I spoke publicly about being there, I became the target of online abuse and trolling.
At the time, there was no guidance or support for people like me. News organisations encouraged me to share my story, but no-one helped prepare me for, or protected me from, the abuse that would follow. That gap in support left me exposed and it’s something that has stayed with me over the years.
It means I always worry about what I say online, how much I share, and overthink things that could seem innocuous but in the wrong hands could be misconstrued. Even writing this post has made me pause and reflect on whether I should share this, knowing it might open me up to scrutiny.
That experience, the trolling, shaped how I understand the internet, social media, and the emotional impact of online harm - especially for people whose jobs and other situations put them on the front line of public response. I never want people to feel the way I did. I want to use my background in journalism, PR and crisis communications to help others and protect them.
I’m not turning this into a sales pitch as it’s not appropriate – but as I begin to share more about online safety and the impact of trolling in the coming weeks, I want to give some context as to why this matters so much to me. That it wasn’t just the trauma of being at the scene of an attack, it was the online abuse that followed, and the lack of support.
Because while tragedy happens, and it is often (unfortunately) unavoidable, the way we treat each other online is something we CAN change. I want to use my experience for good.
I hope you’ll forgive my rambling thoughts and don’t think me insensitive. It’s just something I have to talk about – and if I can change just one thing from my experiences, even just making people feel safer or better equipped to deal with unkindness online, then I will feel like I’m bringing some good into the world.
I’ve shared part of my Tedx talk here if you’d like to hear me talk about this experience and its impact on me in my own words. And the full version is here; https://youtu.be/OcSVQzycKcQ?si=Ogngvhy3-SfB-Ufy