Pointless Letters

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Pointless Letters Ever read a letter in a paper and immediately thought Eh? afterwards? Yeah, that's the sort of thing aimed at here.

All wastes of stamps / electrons welcome - if you spot a pointless letter out there in the wild, send it in!

Today is the 55th anniversary of one of the biggest things to ever happen in the history of humanity….and the moon landi...
20/07/2024

Today is the 55th anniversary of one of the biggest things to ever happen in the history of humanity….and the moon landing.

UGH

Daily Express readers having a completely normal and in no way absolutely bananas reaction to the General Election resul...
14/07/2024

Daily Express readers having a completely normal and in no way absolutely bananas reaction to the General Election result

“Children should be shielded from certain concepts.” says Kate, about said children potentially attending a show that is...
07/07/2024

“Children should be shielded from certain concepts.” says Kate, about said children potentially attending a show that is *checks notes* all about the power of love and the acceptance of others.

NARRATOR: Doug was shocked when someone explained to him that we do, in fact, have new elections every few years just in...
26/06/2024

NARRATOR: Doug was shocked when someone explained to him that we do, in fact, have new elections every few years just in case people have changed their minds about things.

“Me Janet no like big words.”
09/06/2024

“Me Janet no like big words.”

Sit the f**k down, Bravo Two Zero.
27/05/2024

Sit the f**k down, Bravo Two Zero.

“If you haven’t had a job for six months? Conscription. Looked at me funny in the street? Conscription. Speaking with yo...
27/05/2024

“If you haven’t had a job for six months? Conscription. Looked at me funny in the street? Conscription. Speaking with your mouth full? Conscription. Wearing an outfit I think is too revealing? Conscription. Farting? Conscription.”

And that’s a problem…why?
26/05/2024

And that’s a problem…why?

Do you brie-lieve in love at first sight?
18/05/2024

Do you brie-lieve in love at first sight?

I’m willing to bet £10 right now that if any of those schoolchildren had talked to one another, Sue’s letter would have ...
06/05/2024

I’m willing to bet £10 right now that if any of those schoolchildren had talked to one another, Sue’s letter would have been about how noisy and unruly kids are these days.

“Who says I can’t say that?” asks Phillip, immediately after saying his daughters told him he couldn’t say that.
05/05/2024

“Who says I can’t say that?” asks Phillip, immediately after saying his daughters told him he couldn’t say that.

“Nobody seems to think reality matters anymore.” says Karen, complaining about what she sees as a lack of realism in…*ch...
28/04/2024

“Nobody seems to think reality matters anymore.” says Karen, complaining about what she sees as a lack of realism in…*checks notes*…Doctor Who.

PEAK TELEGRAPH: “I don’t think that I should be receiving these things from the state - which, of course, I accept - whe...
21/04/2024

PEAK TELEGRAPH: “I don’t think that I should be receiving these things from the state - which, of course, I accept - when I don’t need them. I also think that people who do need them shouldn’t get them either.”

REASONS WHY BRITAIN IS TOTALLY RUINED THESE DAYS, NUMBER 33,596: “Beards.”
31/03/2024

REASONS WHY BRITAIN IS TOTALLY RUINED THESE DAYS, NUMBER 33,596: “Beards.”

You could take the total area of the inside of 10,000 Dyson spheres, multiply that by 20 every minute of every day for 5...
29/03/2024

You could take the total area of the inside of 10,000 Dyson spheres, multiply that by 20 every minute of every day for 500 years, and still not come close to half of the sheer amount of square footage that Meghan Markle occupies, entirely rent free, in the brains of these absolute headbangers.

“I agree with Maggie.” said Mrs Bunty Twelvetrees (81) today, when Pointless Letters specifically avoided reaching out f...
23/03/2024

“I agree with Maggie.” said Mrs Bunty Twelvetrees (81) today, when Pointless Letters specifically avoided reaching out for comment. “Whenever I go somewhere and offer a perfectly innocent comment on the rights of British natives and indigenous people, I’m made to feel unwelcome. What happened to free speech, eh? That’s what I’d like to know.”

“I blame all them foreigns and coloureds.” she added, later.

“Multi culteral”
17/03/2024

“Multi culteral”

“It’s Morris Dancing, not Doris Dancing!”
04/02/2024

“It’s Morris Dancing, not Doris Dancing!”

Deranged cult no hang on, I got a letter wrong there
27/01/2024

Deranged cult

no hang on, I got a letter wrong there

It’s just a privilege to watch minds like this at work, it really is…
21/01/2024

It’s just a privilege to watch minds like this at work, it really is…

Absolutely not weird at all
07/01/2024

Absolutely not weird at all

“And then the two young men backflipped into a gold Ferrari, shouted ‘So long, losers!’ and flipped the bird at a pictur...
06/01/2024

“And then the two young men backflipped into a gold Ferrari, shouted ‘So long, losers!’ and flipped the bird at a picture of Churchill.”

Finally, someone standing up to those arrogant bastards working for the minimum wage in a precarious industry who have t...
05/01/2024

Finally, someone standing up to those arrogant bastards working for the minimum wage in a precarious industry who have to bring us our food. They’ve had it all their own way for too long, but no more.

Can’t think why your great-grandson wouldn’t want to talk to you, you seem delightful…
04/01/2024

Can’t think why your great-grandson wouldn’t want to talk to you, you seem delightful…

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