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Cumbria Clown Hall Est: 1 April 2024: A satirical, critical eye over our political & media circus.

NEW POST: More 'p**s poor' churnalism - shocker. 🤡
16/05/2024

NEW POST: More 'p**s poor' churnalism - shocker. 🤡

THE “p**s poor” standards of “churnalism” on The Fail plumb ever deeper fathoms.

NEW POST: Wokemoreland Council rolling out rainbow stickers. 🤡
13/05/2024

NEW POST: Wokemoreland Council rolling out rainbow stickers. 🤡

By Philippa Box. ALL 65 councillors at ‘Wokemoreland & Farness Council’ will be getting lessons in equality and diversity – all paid for by you, the taxpayer, naturally.

NEW POST: 'Dynamic' buck passer wanted on £65,000 a year. 🤡
09/05/2024

NEW POST: 'Dynamic' buck passer wanted on £65,000 a year. 🤡

By Michelle Schumacher. WHEN it comes to council highways departments, one adjective that rarely springs to mind is “dynamic”.

NEW POST: A Fair Cop. 'Roger Overanout' comments on the crime commissioner outcome. 🤡
09/05/2024

NEW POST: A Fair Cop. 'Roger Overanout' comments on the crime commissioner outcome. 🤡

By Roger Overanout. A WEEK is a long time in politics and it took Tory police and crime candidate Mike Johnson about nine seconds to disappear…

BREAKING WIND: 'Ballot box' killer at large as party found dead.🤡
02/05/2024

BREAKING WIND: 'Ballot box' killer at large as party found dead.🤡

By Neena Ninaw. NO tributes have been paid to a political party found murdered today

NEW POST: Dark rumblings at a meeting in North Kumbria.🤡
02/05/2024

NEW POST: Dark rumblings at a meeting in North Kumbria.🤡

THE Labour hierarchy supposedly in charge of Fumbleland Council doesn’t like anyone challenging its authority.

NEW POST: Astonishing 'Instasham' survey results.🤡
02/05/2024

NEW POST: Astonishing 'Instasham' survey results.🤡

By Ray Cation. THE Lake District has been named among the most popular places in England to take a photograph.

NEW POST: Are you passionate about training other staff how to do a job that you don’t do? £39k awaits! 🤡
01/05/2024

NEW POST: Are you passionate about training other staff how to do a job that you don’t do? £39k awaits! 🤡

Ever wondered where your Council Tax goes? A weekly round-up of inexplicable non-jobs dreamt up by your council’s Inhumane Resources dept WEEK THREE: Ideal for those who like sticking their b…

NEW POST: ClickWatch asks if 1,100 police officers in Crumbria are quite happy in their jobs? 🤡
30/04/2024

NEW POST: ClickWatch asks if 1,100 police officers in Crumbria are quite happy in their jobs? 🤡

By Phil Prisons. THERE’S a saying that 79% of all statistics are made up.

NEW POST: New submarine named. 🤡Artwork: Dave Millsop
30/04/2024

NEW POST: New submarine named. 🤡
Artwork: Dave Millsop

By Phil Torpedoes. HMS Indefensible is the sister to HMS Armageddonouttahere.

NEW POST: Special day coming up to celebrate 'St Dave The Normal.' 🤡Artwork: Whisperin' Dave.
28/04/2024

NEW POST: Special day coming up to celebrate 'St Dave The Normal.' 🤡
Artwork: Whisperin' Dave.

A CRUMBRIAN town is revving up to celebrate a special day in honour of a local saint.

NEW POST: Anti 4x4 lobby group accused of nobbling public survey in the Lakes. 🤡
28/04/2024

NEW POST: Anti 4x4 lobby group accused of nobbling public survey in the Lakes. 🤡

A childish row between off-roaders and ramblers in the Lake District has blown up again.

NEW POST: Newspaper Goes Batty. 🤡
24/04/2024

NEW POST: Newspaper Goes Batty. 🤡

By Bruce Wane. Vampire-like fruit bats have held up a housing scheme in MILLOM, according to The Evening Wail.

NEW POST: Clowncil to spend £200k on achieving zilch. 🤡
24/04/2024

NEW POST: Clowncil to spend £200k on achieving zilch. 🤡

By Michelle Schumacher. Thirty towns and villages across Crumbria are going to get 20 mph speed limits – as a Clown Hall rolls out the chocolate teapots.

NEW POST: Media Watch: Huw's A Naughty Boy? 🤡
22/04/2024

NEW POST: Media Watch: Huw's A Naughty Boy? 🤡

By Phil Schedules. NO mention of Huw Edwards then on the increasingly juvenile BBC Radio Crumbria?

NEW POST: Crumbria's political weather forecast: Wet, dull with massive snowflakes at times. 🤡
22/04/2024

NEW POST: Crumbria's political weather forecast: Wet,
dull with massive snowflakes at times. 🤡

The political weather forecast for Crumbria.

NEW POST: Fumbleland Clowncil in search for £100k-a-year HR droid.🤡Artwork: R2-D2 makes a cock-up at the job interview b...
20/04/2024

NEW POST: Fumbleland Clowncil in search for £100k-a-year HR droid.🤡
Artwork: R2-D2 makes a cock-up at the job interview by Dave Millsop

By Steve Nonjobs. Cash-strapped” Fumbleland Council wants lure a new HR droid to Crumbria.

NEW POST: A new era of Ecostopia is ushered in at Fumbleland Council 🤡
20/04/2024

NEW POST: A new era of Ecostopia is ushered in at Fumbleland Council 🤡

How much energy has been wasted on Cumberland Council’s Draft Carbon And Energy Management Plan 2024-2027? Ironically, the “time-sensitive” paper appears to have undergone no less…

NEW POST: Warning of incoming weather hype.🤡
18/04/2024

NEW POST: Warning of incoming weather hype.🤡

STORM GENTLE: 70mph gusts of weather hype on the way.

NEW POST: It's the little-known Crumbrian MP who puts you to sleep. 🤡
17/04/2024

NEW POST: It's the little-known Crumbrian MP who puts you to sleep. 🤡

A Cumbrian perspective in Parliament from Dr Neil Dudson.

NEW POST: Trajick news. 🤡
16/04/2024

NEW POST: Trajick news. 🤡

Live from Blackburn By Abbie Rhodes TRIBUTES copied off Facebook have been paid to a former newspaper found half dead in Barrow. The unidentified mail was found in a local newsagents suffering from…

Exclusive: Cumbria council fat cat walked away with HALF-A-MILLION QUID after just a year in post! 😡🤡
15/04/2024

Exclusive: Cumbria council fat cat walked away with HALF-A-MILLION QUID after just a year in post! 😡🤡

A FAT cat council boss in Cumbria lapped up half a million pounds for just a YEAR in the job. METCALFE’S COOL HALF MILLION John Metcalfe banked £586,000 for his time as chief executive of Cum…

NEW POST: How to know if your drink has been spiked by a political party. 🤡https://clownhall.wordpress.com/2024/04/14/vo...
14/04/2024

NEW POST: How to know if your drink has been spiked by a political party. 🤡
https://clownhall.wordpress.com/2024/04/14/voting-dangers/

By our crime correspondent, Nena Ninaw Crumbria’s next police and crime commissioner is warning residents about the dangers of not voting for him. Conservative candidate Mike Jobson has been …

NEW POST: Clickwatch: Outstanding Services To Local Journalism Award. 🤡
13/04/2024

NEW POST: Clickwatch: Outstanding Services To Local Journalism Award. 🤡

By Al Gorithm This week’s award for Outstanding Services to Local Journalism goes to The Mail, formerly of Barrow. A redundant sub-editor moaned at me about clickbait on its website a week ag…

NEW POST: More on Dave Spart's mathematically impossible election bid. 🤡
12/04/2024

NEW POST: More on Dave Spart's mathematically impossible election bid. 🤡

By Carl Nomarks The “Dave Spart” who helped delay a £50m project and 600 jobs in Penrith is now soaking up unquestioning pre-election exposure in his local paper. The Wasteoftime Gusset…

NEW POST: Committee Spider drops into a big pensions committee row in Cumbria. 🤡
11/04/2024

NEW POST: Committee Spider drops into a big pensions committee row in Cumbria. 🤡

AS Cumbria’s two new councils peacock their climate concerns what does this mean for its Local Government Pension Fund, currently valued at circa £3BN. For years, council money has been poure…

NEW POST on Cumbria Clown Hall and it's infuriating. 🤡
08/04/2024

NEW POST on Cumbria Clown Hall and it's infuriating. 🤡

By Carl Nomarks Seven stoney-faced militants from the ‘Trade Union and Socialist Coalition of Wastemoreland & Loonsdale’, have stuck theirs oars into a £50m housing development and …

Crime commissioner missing from desk 🤡
07/04/2024

Crime commissioner missing from desk 🤡

By Crime Correspondent, Nina Neenaw DEFECTIVES are appealing for help in tracing a Police & Mime Commissioner who has gone missing from his desk. Conservative Peter McAwol has not been seen in …

New post on Cumbria Clown Hall.SH*TUATIONS VACANT: https://shorturl.at/diITX 🤡
06/04/2024

New post on Cumbria Clown Hall.
SH*TUATIONS VACANT: https://shorturl.at/diITX 🤡

FANCY a job promising net zero physical or emotional demands? Want to earn up to £43k and help a council not stop global warming? We have just the sinecure for you! Wastemorland & Loonsdale Cou…

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