02/04/2022
***Long Post***
Chris putting into perfect words, why it's important to remember that we all grow and improve. Making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person, and we can always fix things.
Happy Autism Acceptance Day, everybody! ❤️🎉🌈
I'm going to talk about something different for World Autism Acceptance Day. I saw this in my Facebook Memories, so I want to talk about how advocacy (and advocates) can change over time.
This was me in 2015, a few weeks before I started Autistic Not Weird. You may notice that this post is loaded with language I wouldn't use today. "Awareness" rather than "Acceptance", "Asperger's" since it was my diagnosis, person-first language ("having autism") rather than the far more validating "being autistic". Oh, and "mild autism", because this was shortly before I learned about the damage of functioning labels.
In a post I made one year earlier, I wrote that autism involved "a 70% chance of having something else wrong with your brain too", referring to co-occurring neurotypes (ADHD etc). Because that was how I saw it in 2014. It's how the world around me encouraged me to see neurodivergence!
Bloody hell, I've changed a lot. And ironically, this post which I wouldn't share "with just anyone" later became a blog post with over 300,000 hits. It was people's comments on this post that gave me the idea for ANW. But along the way, I've had a steep learning curve.
Half of it is the fact that the movement is always evolving. In 2015 it was fine to say I had Asperger's, but these days people find my oldest articles and judge them by today's standards. Not much I can do about that.
But the other half is the honest fact that **I didn't know better at the time**.
I'm very glad that I had a lot of resilience at the start of my advocacy journey. I hear countless tales of people- autistic or otherwise- being "corrected" in a way that sounds like judgement rather than guidance, to the extent that they quit advocacy, withdraw from conversations about autism, or become so afraid of the internet's judgement that they keep silent altogether. This is done to them by people- again, autistic or otherwise- who obviously believe they're doing right by the neurodivergence movement, but lose sight of the fact that movements are made up of individuals, and individuals need support and guidance rather than raw correction.
The reason I'm sharing this old post of mine- which remains invisible to most people to this day- is to advise those who need to hear it that **people can change and can learn over time**.
The non-autistic professional who sincerely loves their clients but shares blue puzzle piece pictures from A$ may one day be advising colleagues to not make the same mistakes that they did.
The loving parent who has been instructed to use person-first language and doesn't know the preferences of the autistic community may one day be teaching their friends about neurodivergent-friendly language.
And of course, the autistic wannabe advocate who uses fairly harmful language and has been taught to see autism negatively may end up becoming me in 2022.
Things on the internet happen so quickly, and we often forget that people need time. If you see someone sharing outdated symbols today, I'd ask you to not make the immediate assumption that they're ableist and anti-autistic. Uninformed is not the same as ignorant, and inexperienced is not the same as contemptuous.
(This is not to ignore the fact that some people DO treat us with contempt, and some people know *exactly* how harmful autistic people believe certain symbols to be whilst sharing them anyway. So I'm not saying "be friendly to everyone on the internet who hates you" because frankly there are badvocates on Facebook to whom I give a VERY wide berth.
But I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about friendly Aunt Sandra or Mary the speech therapist who approach autism from a place of compassion but aren't yet equipped with certain bits of knowledge, but who would absolutely be receptive to learning once it's accessible to them.)
People who advocate for autism need time to learn and grow as advocates. And in my opinion, one of the best things we can do for people new to the autism scene is GIVE them that time.
Because I'm very glad I had it for myself.
Happy Autism Acceptance Day, everyone. :) -Chris Bonnello - Author