15/12/2024
Well, here we are. One last time as me. Just… me. No tracksuit, no can in hand, no chav jokes. Just James. And, to be honest with you, I’ve struggled with being ‘just James’ for a long time.
It’s funny, isn’t it? I built this character, this larger than life version of myself, and people loved it. They laugh, they cheered, and want to party with JPH. But somewhere along the way, I started to feel… maybe the real me wasn’t enough. Maybe they didn’t want me. Maybe I didn’t even want myself.
I spent the last four years trying to figure that out. And I’m not gonna lie to you it wasn’t pretty. There were days when I didn’t feel good enough, nights when I sat there with a drink in my hand, thinking, ‘What’s the point?’ Days turned into months, and months turned into years.
I lost myself.
I lost the love for what I did, for who I was. JPH became bigger than me, louder than me, funnier than me. And James? James got quieter, smaller, and scared. Scared I’d never live up to this thing I’d created. There were times where I thought I had 'Friends' that would help me through things and support me. And I've found that the people I admire and look up to as role models can break your heart. And by then...
I Had Enough!
But, the truth is: I missed it. I missed me. I missed all of it. And yeah, the past four years were rough, but they taught me something important. They taught me that it’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to stop for a bit, to breathe, to say, ‘You know what? I need to figure this out.’
And now I’m here. as James for one last time, telling you all that I’m ready. I’m ready to come back, to put the tracksuit on again, to make you laugh again. But this time, I’m doing it my way. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Because I’ve found myself again.
So, this is it...
After this status, JPH is back. Bigger, better, louder than ever. And I’m not scared anymore because now I know who I am. I’m both. I’m James, and I’m JPH.
So, let’s do this. For you lot, for the laughs, and yeah… for me. One more thing... if you’ve ever felt like I have lost, stuck, not good enough just know it gets better. It takes time, it takes work, but it gets better.
I’ll see you on the other side fruits! Sorry I've been a let down and failed on so many promises. But this time I'm back!
Have a Cracking Christmas and a Fruity new year!
James & JPH