Bye Bye Fatman

Bye Bye Fatman I'm a 50something year-old celebrating family, inter cultural life and trying to live a healthier lifestyle.
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I"m a 50something bloke on a mission to lose weight and transform my health and wellness.

04/12/2025

It just struck me that I’m now in my late 50’s. Eish, I’m a proper old geezer!

04/12/2025

Inter cultural and inter racial marriage be like…

Yes, we come from different cultures.
Yes, we grew up with different worldviews.
Yes, sometimes we misunderstand each other because the logic of one culture does not always translate neatly into the other.

But those differences do not define our marriage.
They enrich it.

They give us more to laugh about, more to learn from, more to explore together.
They force us to communicate better, listen more deeply and grow beyond the limits of our upbringing.
They remind us that love is not about finding someone identical to you, but someone willing to meet you in the middle.

We blend traditions, values, humour, families and histories.
We respect where each of us comes from, and we build something new together from it.
Our children are proof that difference can be beautiful and powerful, not something to fear.

Our marriage is not defined by culture or race.
It is defined by respect, partnership, laughter and love.

Africa Through Local Eyes v Africa Through Tourist EyesIf you want to know a place, ask someone who did not pay to be th...
04/12/2025

Africa Through Local Eyes v Africa Through Tourist Eyes
If you want to know a place, ask someone who did not pay to be there.

There is a Zambia that locals know.
And there is a Zambia that tourists consume.
The two overlap, but they are not the same country.

Foreign visitors arrive in Livingstone with bucket lists. Bungee jump. White water raft. Sunset cruise. Helicopter flight. Safari. Selfies at the Falls. Then fly out again, convinced they have “done” Zambia.

Most Zambians have never done a single one of those things.

This is not criticism. It is reality.
Tourism here is largely designed and priced for foreigners. Bungee jumping is not a rite of passage for the average Zambian family. White water rafting is not a weekend hobby. A helicopter ride costing hundreds of dollars is not something a household earning local wages can justify. Even many middle class Zambians, whose numbers are rising and who increasingly travel for leisure, do not seek these curated, adrenaline soaked experiences. Their idea of a holiday is grounded in culture, family, relaxation and history, not bucket list bragging rights.

Meanwhile foreign tourists sip cocktails at foreign owned lodges built along the river, in bubbles that feel more like Europe relocated to Africa than Africa itself. They call it “authentic” because an elephant wandered past the restaurant or because the staff wear chitenge uniforms. But the version of Zambia they experience is carefully filtered, curated, sanitised and rarely touched by the rhythms of real Zambian life.

The irony is that Zambia’s tourism industry would collapse overnight without Zambians.
It is Zambian hands steering the boats.
Zambian drivers leading the game drives.
Zambian chefs cooking the meals.
Zambian cleaners preparing the rooms.
Zambian guards keeping the lodges safe.
Zambian artists performing for guests.
Zambian guides telling the stories.

The jobs are not high paying by Western standards, but, within the local economy, they are competitive and often transformational for families. Tourism keeps thousands of Zambians employed. Yet most of the high end lodges, backpackers, overland companies and adventure operators are owned by foreigners who extract the profit and leave locals with the crumbs.

Locals see Zambia differently.
They know the dusty streets, the market chatter, the smell of charcoal, the joy of a family braai, the pride of a church choir, the humour that carries people through load shedding and heatwaves, the neighbourliness that Europe has long forgotten.
They know Zambia not as an experience but as a life.

A tourist may stand at the edge of the Falls for ten minutes.
A Zambian may stand behind a shop counter for ten hours to afford school fees.

A tourist may post a sunset photo.
A Zambian knows that same sunset marks the start of preparing the evening meal for extended family.

A tourist may take photos of a village.
A Zambian calls that village home.

This is not to shame travellers. Travel can be beautiful, inspiring and meaningful.
But travelling through Africa is not the same as living in Africa.
And if you want to understand a place, really understand it, you cannot rely on hotels, guidebooks or curated excursions.

You need to step out of the tourist bubble.
Talk to people.
Listen to stories.
Sit in a local bar.
Visit a real neighbourhood.
Find the Zambia that does not exist in brochures.

Because the Zambia that tourists come for is dramatic.
But the Zambia that locals live is profound.

One is a spectacle.
The other is a soul.

04/12/2025

Livingstone v Victoria Falls: Same Waterfall, Different Worlds

Zambia gives you the authentic African experience. You feel the spray, walk through the mist, visit Livingstone Island and even swim in Devil’s Pool. It is raw, immersive and deeply connected to local culture.

Zimbabwe, on the other hand, wins the global branding game. “Victoria Falls” is one of the strongest names in tourism, so most foreign travellers book Zimbabwe without even realising Zambia offers a closer, more unforgettable encounter.

Zimbabwe sells the postcard.
Zambia gives you the heartbeat of Africa.

04/12/2025

Livingstone v Victoria Falls: Authentic Africa v Global Branding

Livingstone and Victoria Falls share the same mighty waterfall, but the way each side is experienced could not be more different. Zambia offers something raw, immersive and unmistakably African. Zimbabwe offers something polished, packaged and globally recognisable. Both have value, but they tell very different stories.

Zambia: The Authentic, Immersive African Experience
On the Zambian side you are not just looking at the Falls, you are inside them. You walk across Knife Edge Bridge with the spray on your skin, you feel the thunder beneath your feet and you can enter Livingstone Island or even Devil’s Pool during low water.

It is wild, intimate and rooted in the local landscape. You feel Africa in the experience, not just see it.

Livingstone itself feels more African too. Local markets, Zambian food, real communities, and a genuine sense of place. Even the tourism offering blends naturally with everyday life. It is not a bubble built only for outsiders. It is Africa welcoming you in.

Zimbabwe: The Power of Global Branding
Yet, despite Zambia offering the deeper and more authentic experience, Zimbabwe continues to attract the larger share of international visitors. Even pre pandemic, Zimbabwe consistently hosted slightly more than half of all Victoria Falls tourists.

Why?
Because Victoria Falls is one of the strongest tourism brands on the planet.

Most international travellers recognise the name instantly. They search “Victoria Falls” on Google and the Zimbabwean side appears first. Tour operators default to Zimbabwe. Travel bloggers often do the same. “Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe” sounds like a single destination.

Meanwhile “Livingstone” or “Mosi oa Tunya” do not yet trigger the same instant global recognition.

Different Tourism Identities
Zimbabwe has built Victoria Falls town almost entirely around foreign tourism. Hotels, bars, shuttle services and packaged experiences are designed with international visitors in mind. It is a well oiled tourism economy geared towards bringing in the foreign dollar.

Zambia’s approach is different. Livingstone caters strongly to local and regional tourists, offering more diverse pricing and a tourism culture that is intertwined with the city’s real identity. It is less curated, more lived in, and much more reflective of everyday African life.

This means:
Zimbabwe controls the brand.
Zambia offers the soul.

So Why Do More International Visitors Still Choose Zimbabwe?
It comes down to three core reasons:
1. Name recognition
2. Tour operator defaults
3. Zimbabwe’s packaging of Victoria Falls as a standalone destination

Even though Zambia arguably offers the more authentic and engaging experience, many travellers go where the branding leads them.

Can Zambia Shift the Global Narrative?
Yes. And slowly, it is happening.
Photographers, influencers and travellers increasingly rave about the Zambian side. Mosi oa Tunya National Park is gaining global identity. Livingstone’s lodges and river experiences continue to rise in profile.

But until “Livingstone Zambia” and “Mosi oa Tunya” become globally synonymous with “the Falls”, branding will continue to favour Zimbabwe.

In the end, the comparison is simple:
Zimbabwe sells the postcard.
Zambia gives you the heartbeat of Africa.

The Danger Of Teaching Children To Fear The OtherFear is not inherited. It is taught.And so is kindness.One of the most ...
04/12/2025

The Danger Of Teaching Children To Fear The Other

Fear is not inherited. It is taught.
And so is kindness.

One of the most important responsibilities we have as parents is to shape how our children see the world. Not through the narrow lens of prejudice but through the wider lens of humanity. Fear of the “other” has caused more suffering in this world than almost anything else, yet children are not born with it. They learn it from what they hear, what they see and what we model.

I want my children to see difference without danger. People may look different, dress differently or speak in unfamiliar ways, but the core of our humanity is shared. Children instinctively understand this. They play with anyone, greet anyone, laugh with anyone. It is adults who teach them to fear difference. So we remind our kids that diversity is not something to fear but something to celebrate. Vive le différence.

Children are naturally curious. They ask questions that adults tiptoe around. Instead of shutting that curiosity down, we should encourage it. Curiosity leads to understanding. Suspicion leads to division. If a child asks why someone looks or sounds different, that is not rudeness. It is the beginning of learning.

We cannot pretend stereotypes do not exist. Our children will encounter them sooner or later, so it is far better to address them early. Explain why stereotypes are harmful, how generalisations erase individuality and why judging someone before knowing them is unfair. Give them the tools to challenge prejudice before it ever takes root.

And of course, we must model what we hope they will practise. If children see their parents surrounded only by people who look like them, worship like them or come from the same background, they learn a monochrome version of the world. My wife and I have friends from many cultures, races and faiths, and our marriage itself is a lesson in what cross cultural connection looks like. Our children grow up seeing unity, not division.

We have been blessed to work, live and raise our family across several cultures and continents. Our children have already lived in France, Nigeria, China, the UK, Germany and now Zambia. They have played with children from countless cultural backgrounds. They have grown up in environments where difference is normal and connection happens naturally. Their world is far bigger than the one I grew up in, and for that I am grateful.

Because when children grow up knowing the world is wide and diverse, they do not fear the other.
They recognise that there is no “other” at all.

03/12/2025

Kankuluwale at Debra’s Birthday

Playing kankuluwale at Debra’s birthday party. A proper Zambian moment. It is a traditional game enjoyed across the country by all ages. The laughter was loud and the energy was real.

Kankuluwale is one of those games that brings everyone together because it is fast, simple and full of joy. One person becomes the leader and gives quick instructions. Everyone has to react immediately. Anyone who hesitates or gets it wrong is out. It keeps the whole group on their toes and the last person standing becomes the winner or the next leader.

It is played in villages, towns and schools. No equipment, no stress, just pure fun and community energy. Moments like this remind us why family matters and why these traditions still live.

03/12/2025

At my favourite restaurant in Livingstone, Golden Leaf, celebrating my birthday. Honestly, they make the best Indian food in the whole city. Proper flavour, proper spice, proper comfort. Yummy does not even begin to cover it.

The Struggles of a Weight Loss Journey. One of the most counter intuitive moments of my life happened this week. I was o...
03/12/2025

The Struggles of a Weight Loss Journey.

One of the most counter intuitive moments of my life happened this week. I was on an all inclusive boat cruise on the Zambezi, surrounded by unlimited drinks, beautiful scenery, and that classic holiday atmosphere… and I sat there drinking Coke Zero.

Old me would have treated the bar like a personal challenge, determined to get my money’s worth. But for once, self restraint won. It surprised even me.

I wish I could say that this is how it always goes. Anyone who has followed my journey can see in my recent pictures that I have regained a lot of the weight I once lost. I am not where I was at my peak, and the discipline that carried me through those earlier stages has wavered. And although I stayed strong on this week’s cruise, I have stumbled at other moments. After three full years without alcohol, I slipped a few times and got caught up in the social vibe here in Zambia where beer is part of the culture for many people. It is incredibly easy to get swept along.

But the truth is that addiction never really disappears. You can be winning for months, even years, and still have moments when the little voice inside pulls you off track. I do not pretend to be unique in this, and I know many of you who have battled your own demons will relate. Food, alcohol, self sabotage, doubt… the source differs but the struggle feels familiar.

I have not forgotten the promises I made, especially to my wife and children. And I am still in a far better place than the man I once was. But I cannot hide behind past progress. Late November and early December always turn into one long celebration with Debra’s birthday and mine. Now that the birthdays are over, I need to reset. No more “Well, Christmas is coming, so what’s the point.” That mindset is poison.

It really is all in the mind. And the mind can be retrained.
I have done it before.
And I will do it again.

If you are fighting your own battles, please know this: you are not failing, you are learning. You are not weak, you are human. And you can rise again, just as I will.

03/12/2025

Yes, I have regained some weight since I was peak Bye Bye Fatman. My journey
is not linear!

Why I Speak About Injustice Even When It Costs MeSilence protects the comfortable, not the vulnerable. That truth has fo...
03/12/2025

Why I Speak About Injustice Even When It Costs Me

Silence protects the comfortable, not the vulnerable. That truth has followed me across continents, from the Ireland that shaped my ancestors to the Africa that shaped my adulthood. And it sits at the heart of why I keep speaking out about racism and inequality even when doing so comes with a price.

When you challenge injustice, the first backlash often comes from people who look like you. I have experienced it from “home”, and I have experienced it here. In Livingstone, I have more or less removed myself from the white bubble simply by telling the truth. When you refuse to participate in the mutual comfort of white privilege, you become the problem. You are told you are divisive. You are told to “relax”. You are told that speaking up is unnecessary. But all that really means is that your voice is disrupting a system that allows some to live untouched while others continue to pay the cost.

It would be so much easier to stay quiet. Honestly, it would. To smile, wave, keep the peace, and pretend I do not see what I see. But I was not raised that way. My Irish identity taught me to stand with the oppressed, not the oppressor. My life in Africa deepened that instinct. I see the legacy of colonialism. I see the everyday effects of white privilege. I see who gets heard and who gets ignored. And knowing what I know, silence would make me part of the injustice I claim to oppose.

My duty is shaped by history, both Irish and African. I genuinely believe that there is a right side of history, and I want to be on it. If I have a platform, then I must use it. Not to speak for others but to amplify those whose voices are muted by fear of reprisal or by systems that were never built for them.

Speaking out is rarely comfortable. Sometimes it costs you friendships in your own community. Sometimes it brings criticism from strangers. Sometimes people call you names, question your motives, or accuse you of stirring tension. But I would rather live with that discomfort than live with complicity.

Because at the end of the day, the fight for justice is not about me. It is about dignity. It is about fairness. It is about refusing to pretend that inequality is normal. And if a little discomfort is the price of doing what is right, then so be it.

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Hereford
Herefordshire

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