03/03/2024
I haven’t been here for ages because I haven’t been able to write what I’m sharing now and I couldn’t write anything else.
About 10 days ago I lost my beautiful little sister Carolyn and my heart is forever broken.💔
She was the most loving, funny, smart, generous, loyal, wonderful sister you could ever wish for.
She was autistic and epileptic and taught me so, so much about seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. It was a huge gift.
She had what was be labelled ‘special educational needs’ but I always saw them as ‘special educational gifts’ as she shared her magic so freely. She was always reading and used to make up stories and songs.
We shared a bedroom growing up and when she gifted me insight to her world, we played the most wonderful games. She spent the past 20+ years in a residential care home and, by the sounds of it, continued making mischief with her co-worker there.
That’s another huge gift she gave us - meeting a whole new ‘family’ - completely amazing and dedicated carers- I want to say more about how exceptional they are but my words aren’t working properly.
Having gone through the most challenging times myself over the past few years I didn’t visit Carolyn as often as I could have done (for which, of course, I’ll never forgive myself) - but when I did, seeing her face light up with love was just the best. I’m so grateful I saw her only 4 weeks before.
I don’t want to go into the reasons why (because I don’t know them and questions are going round and round my head) but I only found out she was under end of life care 4 days before she left us and that she’d been moved to a hospice 2 days later. My brother and I raced to be with her and sat with her over the next 2 nights.
I was with her when she left- in the early hours. It was such a privilege to be there and to wish her ‘night night’ just before she flew away, but I still can’t believe she’s gone. I’m shell-shocked, furious and devastated.
I’ll miss her forever - the most perfect sister and my biggest inspiration. Words of course don’t do her justice. 💔💕💔
Please, please hold your loved ones tight, get off your phone and enjoy precious moments with them. ❤️