04/01/2020
We all, in this room, we love each other.
We want what's best for each other, and I know that.
I am very thankful for that.
But what I want What I want, what I need, is a choice.
Sometimes,I feel like I never actually make any of my own.
Choices, I mean.
My entire life, it just seems I never you know, had a real say about any of it.
Now this last one, cancer all I have left is how I choose to approach this.
These doctors talking about surviving.
One year, two years, like it's the only thing that matters.
But what good is it, to just survive if I am too sick to work, to enjoy a meal, to make love? For what time I have left, I want to live in my own house.
I want to sleep in my own bed.
I don't wanna choke down 30 or 40 pills every single day, lose my hair, and lie around, too tired to get up and so nauseated that I can't even move my head.
And you cleaning up after me? Me, with some dead man, some artificially alive, just marking time? No.
No.
And that's how you would remember me.
That's the worst part.