06/04/2024
BY MARY MUNENE
16 years ago, I met my husband, Munene Wanjemah.‼️
His vision towered above his craned neck. 😄
He was a fourth (4th) year student, while I was in my second (2nd) year in Campus.
He could barely afford three straight meals a day.
A meal to him was a supernatural divine providence.
A miracle.
He had a shoe that was clearly unisex.
I could wear it comfortably, and so could he. It had a 2 inch block heel, with trousers as wide as the Congo river.
On one particular birthday, he hustled through campus, peddling movie CDs, door-to-door just to scrape together cash for a 500g ice-cream can, solely to elevate the significance of my birth date.
He also got me some bougainvillea flowers, which he plucked from the Campus fence. I actually got to know this through one of his friends.
I was enthralled. The gestures were so divine that tears welled up in my eyes uncontrollably.
Aside from all those little gestures, when we sat down to talk, I would be totally blown off. His vision was jaw dropping. D**e breaking.
I always wondered how he would do it because he had deferred so many semesters, missed so many exams, yet he kept pressing on. I mean it.
Campus was not so smooth for him.
So many times he borrowed my laptop to finish off his assignments and projects. . . however hard things were, he pressed on.
He didn't seek out a fraternity with the red-pilled kind of men, criticizing God for his circumstances, nor was he part of a self-loathing “black pill” community, where men are potent with passivity.
His faith in Christ was unwavering.
I believed in him. His character was breath-taking. Sweet as the morning dew.
We would go window shopping in malls, and he would point at a dress and say, "One day, I will get you that dress worth that amount of money!"
He would point at the hotel that he would take me to, the salon he would take me to, and then, we would leave and have our lunch date at Uhuru pack, binging on Dextrose and bananas!
He would talk about our children, how we would live, where we would live- breaking it down to the nittiest of all gritties of the vision he has.
All I could say was “God will enable you, you will make it, and I will be here!”
HE WAS VISIONARY.
I have known him for 16 years now, and am awed by what God has done for him and through him.
Now he can get me that dress.
Now we can afford that meal at an exquisite restaurant.
The vacations have been countless. . .
He can afford a perfect Baker gentleman’s shoe, and his phone doesn’t screech off as it locks.
Like a rose that's bursting forth in spring time, his vision is breaking forth right before my eyes. . . and I still stand in awe before the Lord for what God is doing in His life.
He didn't quit. He stood firmly anchored in Christ for Christ. Its amazing how wealth follows as fruits of conceived and nurtured vision.
However, the sad trend today is that ladies deck a man against the wall of material gains before committing.
While it’s wise to know if a man legitimately earns a living, sadly, the prerequisite for a relationship in this day and age, has moved from vision and character, to riches and material gain.
No matter how vision-less or passion-less he is about the future, ladies are indoctrinating each other to be more money-centered than vision-centered.
That is where the current crop of ladies are at best, pathetic and paltry in their discernment, and in doing their due diligence.
From my experience, there is nothing sexier and more appealing than a man who has character and vision and is sticking through with it. It doesn’t matter if he gets there in 2 years, or in 10.
But how many of us- ladies- would be patient enough to help the vision carry to term?
Our malady, comparison trap!
We are so trapped in the comparison cycle that we don't realize how much we have veered off the road. In process, we lose our foresight too.
You are rating a brother out because he cannot afford an iPhone for your birthday?
That he's not taking you to Villa Rosa?
That he should give you credit? And Brazilian hair?
That he's not paying for Uber?
Ohh you can't be with a broke guy?
Ohhh you are so smart for "cheap places?"
Girl!!!! Are you tripping???
. . .and by the way, are you doing all that for yourself too? Or are you simply an opportunistic lady with no value to offer back?
A lady whose jars aren't deep enough to contain your own vision? What value are you adding to him?
That man you are rating off is on the path to greatness and if you are a woman of vision, you will see that.
He's on the path to victory. His doors are just about to open wide! His gates are just about to burst wide.
You will pray for him and travail with him instead of letting clout and comparison cloud your vision. . . you will not be young forever!
. . And no! No one is glorifying poverty here!
But if materialistic gains overshadow your vision, process, genuine love, growth, then it's not worth it.
Kill that strange fire! It's not worth kindling.
Ladies you need to understand that God gave Adam a specific mission—but He did not give him a specific path to get there.
He gave Adam His Word, made him in His own image, gave Him dominion, so that he could learn to apply wisdom and achieve his mission through trial and error.
A mission is not a map. It's more like a distant mountain top. There is a process that one will have to go through to get there.
Grow with him. Forget the Instagram lies. Forget the Cameo appearances on social media. Be proud of who he is and what God is building in him. He's fluid. He's flax. Cheer him on. Urge him on. Clap on! Praise him.
Soon...soon...they shall not be Bougainvillea flowers, but Rotchschild's Orchids! Ask me!
Trust the process! Trust the Lord working in him!
"Ohhh he will leave once He get's the money!" You say. . .but that's the problem with your worship right there.
Who do you worship? The man or the giver of that relationship?
Trust that God’s power always accompanies His will, and put the lighter fluid down.
Yours is not to kindle the fire, yours is to ask the one who lit the fire to keep it burning.
Beauty is fleeting, charm is conceited, the self is haughty, gains are all but vain, but character holds the fort.
When the face is drooped, the tummy has sagged, the waistline is as thick as a mound of wheat, when the cellulite fills out on the thighs, and the stretch marks mark their territory around your arms, character will still attract you to each other.
If he is working on his vision, despite every hurdle, despite every abandonment he faces, despite every obstacle, despite every delay or hard turns, one day, he will break forth.
There is a KING inside every man, not just a charming prince!
. . and men, if she makes your insides roar, the King Mufasa type of roar, know that you have found her‼️ She is your favour factor!
Keep her! Cherish her! Nourish her!
©Mary M Munene
