Laughing Kidney (2024)

22/11/2021

hello... anyone here

17/08/2020

Can't just stop laughing..Christmas budget of a Slay Queen in Nigeria.

1. Peruvian hair= N50,000
2. Shoes= 75,000
3. Clothes= 63,000
4. Inner wears= 10,000
5. Phone= iPhone 8
6. Makeup= 15,000
7. Fixing of cat eyes= 12,000
8.watch = 10,000
9.jewelries= 16,000
10. Pocket money= 55,000
11. Human hair= 20,000
Total= N 326,000
Source of Money
1. Peter womanizer= 30,000
2. Chukwudi mumu= 15,000
3. Umez big head= 25,000
4. Kayode mouth odour= 10,000
5. Vincent married man= 40,000
6. Paul big belle= 15,000
7. James driver = 10,000
8. Boy friend= 5,000
9. Mumu 5= 30,000
10. Ebuka Facebook= 10,000
11. Emma church= 15,000
12. Michel neigbhour= 10,000
13. Philip course mate= 3000
14. Alhaji abuja= iphone 8
15. David village = 20,000
16. Akin Facebook= 10,000
17. Frank Onitsha= 15,000
18. Donalex Facebook= 15,000
19. Chigozie hard face=10,000
20. Okon stingy man= 4500
21. Paul k leg= 20,000
😂😂😂😂
Hustling starts December 1st.
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

03/07/2020

For Those Fan Who Are Still Around,Who Didn't Unlike Or Complain I Wanna Say A Big Thanks To U All For Still Sticking Around Though Its Not Easy To Stay Glued In A Page Where Nothing Is Happening So Am Greatful.
The Truth Is That This Page Isn't Dead Or Forgotten And I Swear To U Am Coming Back With Bomb Stories,Mind Blowing & Heart Breaking,Funny To Tears & Laughter Uncontrolable.What Of Thrillers And All Those Actions That Makes U Scream Admin Next, Hw Many Can I List,Not Just For Fun But For Inspiration Of More Knowledge,Not For Showing Off Sake But In Appreciation Of God Give Talent.Its Never Copy And Paste Remember! Its Raw/Fresh & Direct.
I Will Be Back In No Time I Promise & Promise Is A Big Debt.
Not Much Time Anymore.
Thanks For Being Around So Far.

15/08/2019

In the morning today, my dad gave me 100
naira to polish his shoe dat he wants to
wear to work, but i needed money to buy
airtime, so i quickly went inside my room
and use my vasline to polish the shoe.
Wen my dad came out to wear the shoe he
was happy becoz of d way it was shinning
so he said to me
Dad: this aboki really polished dis shoe well
oo
Me: yes dad(I smiled)
Dad: ok, tell your mum that i have gone to work
Me: ok, farewell dad(I was happy)
It was just now, i was in my room
watching tv when i heard my dad's thick
voice calling out my name
Dad: Vici!!! Vici!! Vici !!!
Me: yes dad!
Dad: go outside and take a good look at d
shoe i asked you to polish 4 me this morning!
When i got there i could not even recognize the
shoe any more it was as if the shoe was a
"Dust Magneter" it was completely covered
with dust, i quickly went back inside
Dad: wat did you use in polishing that shoe
I had nothing else to say, so i just told him the
truth
Me: my vasline
Dad: wat happened to the money i gave to you
Me: i i i....(stammering)
Dad: you wat?!
Me: i used it to buy airtime
Dad: airtime to do what
Me: to do facebook
Dad: ok, you know what will happen now, you will
go back to that your facebook and narrate this story and
the number of Comment you get is the number of
days you won't eat in this house.
Abeg make una no comment oo.
Plz save me from hunger..
He is watching
Thanks...

01/08/2019

Person no go hear word again... Everytime
f**k haters, Bla Bla Bla who hate you???
You get house for banana Island?? NO!!!
Do you have 30billion in your account??? NO!!!
Do you have iphone??? No!!!
Your father get level for Nigeria??? NO!!!
Do you have Car or Private Jet??? NO!!!
Do you have company??? NO!!!
Have you ever been out of the country am not
talking about Ghana or Togo, Zambia or South
Africa??? NO!!!
So wetin come dey your body???
Please just post your pictures jeje and stop..
writing "f**k haters or haters keep hating"....
My dear, nobody hate you... you' are just an ordinary Nigerian citizen with Android
phone... .hahhhh

20/07/2019

You think you are ready for a relationship? Let me break this down for you , that sh*t ain't all about being lovey dovey everyday and all, some painful sh*t gonna happen . Every relationship feels like the best thing ever in the beginning. All the spoiling ,sweet messages ,long phonecalls ,happiness
,spending a lot of time together and good s*x. Are you ready for the sleepless nights? Loosing weight? The insecurities?
The jealousy? Falling out of love?
Watching the spark in your relationship vanish?
Being ignored? Not spending time like you used to? Being cheated on? Feeling like you are the only one putting effort in the relationship? The everyday fights? The painful words you are going to hear?
Growing apart? Confusion? The rumours?
The breakdowns? The stress? The moods? The 2min happiness ,7 days of tears? If you are not ready for all of this Then you are not ready for a
relationship Most people go in and out of relationships because every time their relationships reach this point they cant handle the heat! Most couples blame people or point fingers at each other for their failing relationships instead of sitting down and discussing what the problem is and how to fix itHow do you expect your relationship to work if you are not trying to make it work?! Most relationships go through this but all at different times and stages .If what you feel for each other is real y'all just going to have to pull through .Many couples give up on each other when their relationships reach this point
,they are too lazy to try and make things workSome be like "love shouldnt be this hard" Who said love is all rosey and smooth? That sh*t is hard and painful AF . To get to paradise you must pass through all the deserts ,the forests ,the rain and the thunderstorms .Nothing worth having ever comes easy..
Itz

20/07/2019

Nowadays Relationships Aint Lasting. You know Why? There is Too much Pride.. We don't apologise to each other when we wrong.
We Focus More on S*x.. We don't Communicate To each other. We don't Make Time and we don't give each other Attention. We listen to rumours and believe them. We'd be both online but pride won't let us talk to each other. We spend more time with our friends than with our partner. We entertain our Exes . No Respect we take each other for granted...
Itz

20/07/2019

I'd rather be single than waste my time on somebody who's not gonna take me seriously. I'd rather watch other couples be happy than be in a relationship where I'm going to be miserable I'd rather feel lonely than feel alone even when I'm with somebody . I'd rather wait until someone comes along & genuinely wants to be with me,
than rush into something with someone
who just wanna play games with me.
Being single doesn't always mean lonely,
just like being in a relationship doesn't always mean happy..
Itz

19/07/2019

People must understand that we are different . Just because you finished matric and went to Varsity doesn't mean everyone got the same chance , stop making people feel ashamed of themselves just because their life didn't turn out to be what they expected it to be If you have a Weave than bravo! good for you , but stop looking down on those who can't afford one , stop making people feel embarrassed with their Bondings and human hair!! Just because you wear expensive clothes don't let other people feel bad for wearing what they can afford . Let people wear their fake things in peace , let them celebrate the little they have . Just because you have a great body , doesn't mean that you are better than others cause you're not . Having a big stomach is ok , having pimples is ok , crooked teeth? they are fine , Big b***s are okay even sagging!! Stretch marks are okay !! Stop making people feel bad for the things they can't change . Most of y'all are the reasons behind some su***de attempts , just because y'all can't shut up and let people be who they are!!. Some people are not gifted in school deal with that! ! Some people don't know how to speak English but so what? Stop hurting people just because your life turned out great things can change anytime.
REMAIN IN YOUR LANE & RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE..
Itz

01/07/2019

One cold night, A billionaire met an old poor man outside. He asked him, "don't you feel cold being outside, and not wearing any coat?" The old man replied, "I don't have it but I got used to that." The billionaire replied, "Wait for me. I will enter my house now and bring you one. " The poor man got so happy and said he will wait for him.
The billionaire entered his house and got busy there and forgot the poor man.
In the morning he remembered that poor old man and he went out to search for him but he found him dead because of cold, but he left a NOTE.
"When I didn't have any warm clothes, I had the power to fight the cold because I was used to that. But when you promised to help me, I got attached to your promise and that took my power of resisting".
MORAL: Don't promise anything if you can't keep your promise. It might not mean anything to you, But it could mean everything to someone else.
Happy new month to you all...
Itz

30/06/2019

Last night, I decided to treat myself to a great meal. So I walked into a five star hotel restaurant. After going through the menu, I ordered some food and about 20 minutes, a group of men and women walked in and ordered theirs. To my dismay, these folks got served first
I watched as they began to eat and laugh heartily. I even overheard one of them bragging about how he is connected to everyone in the hotel, and I felt mocked.
I wanted to leave.
Unable to take it anymore, I called the waiter. He calmly told me, “Yours is a special order being prepared by the chief chef himself. Their orders were prepared hurriedly by students on attachment because the top chefs are busy with yours. That is why they were served first."
"Please have some juice as you wait.” I calmed down and waited patiently.
Shortly after, my food was served by six waiters. Unknown to me, the owner of the hotel (who happened to be an old long lost family friend of mine) saw me when I entered and decided to surprise me.
She changed my simple meal to a five-star meal. The party at the other table were shocked. They could not stop staring . Suddenly, they were the ones murmuring, asking why they did not get the kind of meal and service.
Such is life! Some people are ahead of you and are eating now, laughing at you and talking about how they are better, wiser, and smarter than you, how they are blessed, well connected, have money, and are enjoying life.
You are waiting tirelessly wondering why its taking so long to breakthrough. You endure mockery and humiliation. Maybe you have contemplated su***de, gone through depression, or suffered severe mental anxiety. Don't worry!
The owner of the world has seen you and doesn't want you to be served a simple meal like those making a mockery of you.
You are waiting long because yours is a special meal. It takes time to prepare. And, only chief chefs prepare them.
Relax and wait for your meal.
When it comes, that laughing party will be silenced for good.
These are my words of encouragement to you today.
Happy Sunday to you all
Itz

05/06/2019

I was in my room trying to post my jokes
as usual when my mother called me.
Vici!!! Vici!!!
Me: yes mummy!
Mum: Go and warm the
soup in the kitchen, your
father wants to eat it, he'll
soon be back from work
Me: ok mum
I went to the kitchen to put the soup on fire, Then
went back to my room to
continue making my posts
30 minutes later......
Mum: Vici
What is smelling? You've burnt the soup!
I ran to the kitchen to
check the soup and saw
that the soup was totally
burnt Then my father
came back
Dad: Vici you've
burnt food again in this
house right? Give me that phone,
He takes a look at the phone and saw that I was making a post
Dad: so you were busy
making posts right?
Now any amount of
comments you get on this
post is the amount of slaps you'll receive from
me today...
So please Friends, family,
brothers, sister, village people Please
don't comment on this post if you love
me..
Thank you..
Itz

05/06/2019

Quickly chose the number you think is the funniest..
1. To my unborn children!
relax, your Dad is doing all his best trying to figure out the best mum for you.
You will not suck a tattooed breast!...
I promise you.
2.My neighbor and is skinny bae were f**king it was like sword fight
3. That moment when you are in a family gathering, and that stubborn child took your wallet without your notice, she opened it and brought out a sachet of condom in the presence of everybody, she went straight to your father and told him "Daddy please open this chocolate for me"...
4. Oya English Gurus in the House answer this Question!!!.
A Mother beat up her daughter because she was drunk!!..
Now; who was drunk????
The mother or the daughter? U think that u understand English give me answer..
5. Since morning, my heart has been
doing me somehow, i think someone just
proposed to my future wife and
she is smiling...
Thunder, it's time for u to intervene please...
6. When the weather is cold, no woman is ugly...
If u knw, u knw...
7. That moment u re having dinner with ur
family, then NEPA performed wonders by
taking the light.
,
,
,
,den u stretch ur hand to take ur junior bro's
meat....den NEPA brought back the light only
for u to notice that...its ur Father meat u
took....
Chai that's when you will know the difference
between I will be dead and I shall be dead.
Itz

20/05/2019

Mathematical Differences:
5+5=10.
6+4=10.
4+6=10.
10-0=10.
10+0=10.
12-2=10.
11-1=10.
14-4=10.
18-8=10.
20/2=10.
30/3=10.
70/7=10.
10x1=10.
1+2+7= 10.
>>What is my point??
>My point is that there are so many ways
of getting to your final destination.
>GOD may not take you through the same
way He took your mom, dad, friend or
colleague.
>What matters is that He will take you to
your destination if you don't give up.
>At times, you get there by adding things
and people in your life.
>Other times you will get there by
subtracting certain things and people from
your life.
>Other times, you may need the
multiplying effect of seed, information and
relationships...
>Other times, division and separation
might be inevitable...
>"Some of these may not be fun"..
>What matters is not the (addition,
subtraction, multiplication or division)..
>Yes, the process may differ. But the
destination is still the same..
>All things will work together for your
good and expected end....Don't give up on
the process!
>You are the clay in God's hands. Do not
reject The Lord when He adds and subtracts
things.
>Do not resist. And in the process learn to
let go when He subtracts.
>Stop crying, lamenting, and drowning in
tears of pity and fear of moving on.
>Every circumstance is building you for
the castle The Lord has prepared for you.
>All things will work together for your
good.....Head or tail you will win.
>Don't give up on the process. Don't walk
away from the game..
>The match has already been decided in
your favour..
>Here is my conclusion and answer;
>>YOU WILL BE WHAT GOD HAS DESTINED
YOU TO BE BY HIS GRACE, IF YOU KEEP
STEADFASTLY IN PRAYING AND TRUSTING GOD,
LIVING HOLY LIFE UNTIL THE END.
!Remain Blessed!
Itz

18/05/2019

WHAT MARRIED MAN THINKS...
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes
downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee...
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room.
The husband looks up from his coffee
, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. Do you remember back then ?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do ' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in my car ?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said:
'Either you marry my daughter , or I will send you to jail for 20 years ?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says ...
"I would have been released today
Itz

14/05/2019

Staying at home wasn't going to bring any income so I just decided to leave the house and go Stay with my friend "kenny" at his spare parts shop.
Well one can easily say it's joblessness this days because the type of work am into only become available when we are call to build mansions, but our government refuse to pay workers, so....how can we be call to build house's...
Nowadays i might even go to work once in a week...sometimes 3 days in a month...
Hmmmm i think my joblessness thrilled kenny as he was always excited to see me.
but he would never make the mistake of giving me transport money home.
lolz don't mind me we stay very close but he could at least! still give me some transport money ooo... even if it's 25min walk..
His shop was more or less like a Chemist Shop as we converged there to discuss our frustrations and pains.
From Buhari to Yahaya, and Nepa, then women.
Oh women were actually the bane of our discussions.
We would complain if the ass was too big, laugh at it if it was too small, cry if it was almost invisible and then hail it if it was bouncing, that was what being jobless did to me ooo.
one can wonder how can a chemist have so much time with me...trust me he has so many apprentice's
I waited for the scorching sun to fade away as I bid Kenny goodbye and headed towards my house.
Just as I began my trekking, I heard a rumble in the sky as it let loose and the heavens opened and the rain came heavily on me, as there was no shade to hide myself.
I managed to stroll home and what I saw left me in shock.
My door was open even though I know I locked it before leaving the house.
From outside I could hear the soft moans that was coming out from my room and I was wondering what was going on.
How can someone break into my house just to have s*x..
I opened the door carefully to avoid startling them and when I entered inside I couldn't find anyone.
I turned to the bathroom door as the noise became fierce and louder..
Who was this person that had the effrontery to do this? Such boldness?
Where were my neighbors when they broke in?
I summoned courage and opened the door quietly again and I saw them, shameless, hopeless and without care.
Naked as Adam and Eve and didn't even notice my presence, they were lost in bliss and ecstasy
Two big black cockroaches, making out on the wall... I just remove my slippers and killed them, God forbid that my eyes Will behold iniquity..
I don't like what I hate Jare!!
Itz

28/04/2019

Never Judge Anyone..
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after
being called in for an urgent surgery. He
answered the call asap, changed his clothes
& went directly to the surgery block. He
found the boy’s father pacing in the hall
waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the
dad yelled: “Why did you take all this time to
come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is
in danger? Don’t you have any sense of
responsibility? ”
The doctor smiled & said: “I am sorry, I
wasn’t in the hospital & I came as fast as I
could after receiving the call…… And now, I
wish you’d calm down so that I can do my
work”
“Calm down?! What if your son was in
this room right now, would you calm down?
If your own son dies now what will you do??”
said the father angrily.
The doctor smiled again&replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we
came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go &
intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace” “Giving advises when we’re not
concerned is so easy” Murmured the
father.
The surgery took some hours after which the
doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness!,
your son is saved!” and without waiting for
the father’s reply he carried on his way
running. “If you have any questions, ask the
nurse!!” “Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t
wait some minutes so that I ask about my
son’s state” Commented the father when
seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor
left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her
face: “His son died yesterday in a road
accident, he was at the burial when we
called him for your son’s surgery. And now
that he saved your son’s life, he left running
to finish his son’s burial.
MORAL :”Never judge anyone, because you
never know how their life is and what
they’re going through”. May God shield you
from every unfortunate incident.
Happy Sunday everyone..
Itz

18/04/2019

Today my girlfriend was selling food for her mum in the shop....
I was very happy because i didn't have money....
So she send me a text, telling me to come and eat for free...
I got there, she served me correct meal with fresh fish and chicken plus one Hollandia yoghurt....
As she was about to bring water for washing hands, her mum appeared and sent her home...
Am still at there shop ooo....
Please help me, what should i do now!???
Cuz my village people have finally succeeded today.
Itz

17/04/2019

Sad story of my life
Last week was my birthday.My wife didn't wish me. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work, even my colleagues didn't wish me. As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss" I felt so special for a moment then she asked me for lunch.... After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. When we got there she asked, "Do you mind if i going into the bedroom for a while."
"Okay", i said...?
She disappeared and came back 2 min later with a cake. My Wife, my Parents, my Kids, my Friends and My Colleagues came out Screaming, "SURPRISE!!!" And i was waiting in the sofa naked With a condom ON.
Itz

17/04/2019

I choose T..!
"The Teacher Told Tolu To Take The Trouser To The Tailor"
Let the genius try
Itz

31/03/2019

A short christian play..
Titled: PROMISE KEEPER

(In Mr and Mrs Johnson sitting room, Mrs Johnson is seen lost in deep taught)
Mrs Johnson: (murmuring to her self) oh lord how long will I continue to wait for the fruit of the womb, it is past fifteen years ever since I got married and I have not take in let a lone having a miscarriage, God why is my own womb different from other women?
Mr Johnson: (entering in) knock knock honey am home
Mrs Johnson: (sprank from her taught) oh my darling husband welcome, how was was work today?
Mr Johnson: fine but you appear not to be fine, tell me what has been troubling you
Mrs Johnson: I was just thinking about my inability to give birth
Mr Johnson: oh please stop it you will surely conceive at God's appointed time he walks in a way we cannot foretell
Mrs Johnson: (a little convince)but how long will I keep waiting ? anyway have heard you
Mr Johnson: my food please
Mrs Johnson: it is right on the table..........light out.....

Mrs Johnson:(crying silently) lord you did it for Sarah you still did it for Hannah lord do my own for me
Mama:(knocking the door impatiently with her Ghana bag hold firmly) where is this man that calls her self a woman come and open this door before Ogun strike barren witch like you
Mrs Johnson: (surprised) ha mama welcome
Mama: welcome fire you there, my friend live the way let me pass jorr before I descend on you
Mrs Johnson:(weakly gave way for her to pass) it is not how it seems to be mama
Mama:how does it seems to be madam grammar, eh? You can only give birth to grammar and not children
Mrs Johnson: (crying) am I God that gives children
Mama: No but you are a witch that kills children
Mrs Johnson: (still crying) its not fair
Mama: (not move with her tears) stop all those your crocodile tears and give me a grand child or you parked out of my son house
Mrs Johnson: ( crying loudly now)
Mr Johnson :(rushed in) my wife was happening here
Mrs Johnson: (ask mama)
Mr Johnson: mama why is my wife crying
Mama: did you just say wife my dear son this woman is a knife, she has cut her womb in to pieces she can never conceive so find another woman and marry
Mr Johnson:( raising his pitch) she is my wife and she will give me many children has I want I won't and will never marry another woman I love my wife dearly
Mama: ( entering in to the guest room still ragging and raking ) all I know is that that log of wood must parked out of this house........light out.......

At foursquare gosple church asokoro abuja mrs Johnson is crying and praying virgously on the alter
Mrs Johnson: ( kneeling and crying while praying) oh lord I cry unto your tabernacle you alone can do all things, lord I need a child of my own honour me the way you honoured Sarah, I need the fruit of the womb lord Jesus make every impossibility possible in my life lord you promised
in your word that you will supply all my needs according to
your riches in glory
Prayer continues......

(Nine months later people are gathered at Mr and Mrs Johnson compound in respect to the arrival of the new babies twin)
Mrs Johnson: (dancing and singing happily carrying one of her baby) he has done for me he has done for me what my mother cannot do he has done for me what my father cannot do he has done for me
Mama:(dancing and swinging her waist gently carrying one of the twin) baba eshe o...
Mr Johnson: (smiling proudly) praise be to our good God who we serve our promise keeping God who made it possible for us today all glory be to God
(Merriment continues )
THE END
.
Written by: blessing yakubu.. Viciyoung's Younger sis...
💎 plays

19/03/2019

Oya Drop That Your Secondary School Teacher's Nickname U Can Never Forget..
Itz

16/03/2019

My Top seven Series Films Of All Time
Includes:
1. Prison Break
2. Into The Badlands
3. Shanara Chronicles
4. Empire
5. Legend Of The Seaker
6. Game Of Thrones
7. Arrow
What Of Yours?
Itz

15/03/2019

Oya ooo just pick 2

1-Have u ever liked someone's post or pix and u suddenly remembered the person hav never liked yours and u took ur like back?
2-Shout out to those people that change d water in garri 2 time's b4 takin it, hope u wash d one u use in makin eba?
3-Some guys will b lyk i nid a woman, dat wil mak me feel lyk a man my ? is were u feeling lyk a goat bfor
4-If ur name is Amaka, pls lef my list if u can disappoint 2face, wht den wil happened to me dat hav 1face
5-That moment whn u're listenin to a song tru ur earph nd singin along wit d musician thinkin u hv d most betifu voice, only to remov d earphn nd realized u sound lyk a frog!
6-Imagin u act as dead during an arm robbery attack nd u hear this' shot everyone again
dat moment ur urine alone cn flood d whole of Africa
8-I went to c a prophet, nd he told me to tk gud care of my gf bc she's goin to b a billionaire i hav bin crying d whole day, nd even run out of tears, Cuz i don't know which 1 of them he is talkin about
9-There re 2 typs of broken hearts dose who cry alone in darknes, nd those who cry on Fb with 88 other's
10-That awkward moment, whn u innocently saved d number of d woman hu supplies u wit natural honey' as honey nd she send u diz mesage while in bed with ur partner "2moro's own will be sweeter dan wht u got last week
11
12-Dr girls, after breakup pls stop cmplaning dat he has a smal dick, his dick is meant to provide kid's nt to satisfy u
13. Me nd my frnd wer at d (Total) in "okene" 1day, nd we don't hav Tfeir we stop a taxi and told him "Ihima" he said #120 we entered witout sayin anytin almos reachin der my frnd call me loud! and said "Vici" dat gun i gav u hw many bullet they inside, i said 6, Hw come' i tot it was 8, I said we shot 2 on d other taxi man dat caried us, whn we reached der we ask hw muh is ur money, d man said don't wory my sons it's free wht did we do wrong?
Oya coment d 2 num u lyk must
7 nd 11 is just 2 funny jor.
Itz

12/03/2019

P***S ENLARGEMENT
Jacob wanted to enlarge his "p***s" so he went to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor gave him a potion to drink and told him that along the way he must point an animal, so that his dick can be as big as the animal he'll be pointing at...
So Jacob saw a Rabbit & he did not point then he saw a Dog & also he did not point...
5 minutes later he saw a Horse
and he pointed same time & felt some movement in his Trouser.
Jacob was so Happy and Singing he ran home and found his wife then he said "Babe now our problem is solved, we can now enjoy our s*x"
Then started kissing, the wife undressed and Jacob began to undress... His wife was shocked then faints
The reason why the wife fainted was not because of the size of the "p***s" but Jacob mistakenly pointed at a Female Horse .
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Thanks..
itz

08/03/2019

I don't know what this world is turning into.
I cant believe you left me so soon..

Just few days ago, I don't know what this world is turning into.
I cant believe you left me so soon
Just few days ago, I laid hands on you,..
Today, you are no more, what a wicked world.
Rest In Peace my October salary
See dem laid hands on you,..
Today, you are no more, what a wicked world.
Rest In Peace my February salary..
dem .....Lolz...
Itz

07/03/2019

Hmmmm just 5...

1. If you really want ur man to help you out in the kitchen.................................just ask for his phone telling him you want to use it as torch when dia is no lite...
2. Some fat pipu are trying their best to lose weight..........................................but do you know weight does not want to lose them....
3. Some times I wonder if all the bad things are happening bcos I did not forward that watsapp God message to 10 people.................................... fada Lord,
ayam sorry..................
4. The biggest lie in the universe!!!
I've read and Agreed to the Terms and Conditions and service...
hmmm they will just tick on the box..ok ooo
5. Imagine calling your bae around 12am.................................................and she sounds like she's jogging..........................
If u know,u know noniyen!...
take extra jara ooo...
I told my mom she was invading my privacy.................................and she was like I came out of her privacy...........................
If u know,u know..........
Oya pick urz...
Itz

Laughing Kidney

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