The Parlor

17/08/2022

Happy Rainy Day Parlor Friends...💗
Warning: Long read. Morning rambles got away from me.

This week I've been pondering what to write about. I've attempted a few shares since Sunday - then deleted them; classic Michelle moves 😅

You see, I have a whole lot to say. Sometimes it all mumble-jumbles together and then ends up making no sense at all, so I delete it. Sometimes I save it in my documents to finish another time.

But it wants to come out. All of the magic, all of the wounds, all of the opinions on injustice in the world, all of the wins, all of the beautiful life lessons and growth I've been experiencing. I want to share it all. I feel like I have so many words inside me bursting to come out. I personally think we all do? And then face the inevitable question, who do I think I am? And shut it down. Especially us 30 and 40 something year olds... its been a ride!

Side note: does anyone else open fb thinking they have something to share, type it out, then realize that you just needed to get it out? So you delete it. 😅 If my journal is nearby I will grab that but sometimes I really think I want to share something and when I read what I write back to myself, I realize I can listen to myself and that is good enough. I created my own blog for this reason on the lightposts.ca website. I have a lot more to add but if you want to actually choose to read what's in my head, heart and soul work, you can head over there. (Why did I just hear Mr T in my head say, "I pity the fool." Was it even Mr T who said that? 😅😅)

I'm also in the process of writing a book🙈 so that what I have to share will eventually be there for someone to stumble upon one day - maybe my own great granddaughter. Since I know that my greatest gift in this life time has been to stumble upon and to receive Maud. She showed up at just the right time too. What a teacher.

The last few years have given me a lot of stories, lessons & wisdom. One of the "almost posts" I wrote earlier was about empathy and what it means to me, another about parenting struggles and, another, about how unfair life can be sometimes - and now I can turn to the Love Maud Collection I've been creating and find a written offering about every single one of these life experiences, from her perspective, 100 years ago. For me, in these challenging times, it grounds me to know that within me there are pieces of her, and that she too knows struggle (8 children!!), and she never hardened. Even though there is struggle there is so much good.

My other grandmothers knew struggle too. And my mother. And most men in my lineage, too. And there are stories I have not yet shared about my generational trauma because it is not my tragedy to share. Except now I see it is still my tragedy. That s**t ripples. It ripples even when the actual abuse stops and it lives in our cells for several generations on. We don't live there anymore but it lives within us and I believe, and it has been true for me so far, that acknowledging where I came from, learning about what my grandparents lineage for the last several generations and what they experienced, has shown me a lot about myself and behaviors and patterns... the harmful ones and the unknown fears, but also the gifts, talents, interests and love.

And gratitude. It has shown me gratitude on levels I have never experienced. Recently my mom shared that she always thought she was not a good enough parent to me, and 15 year old me was delighted to hear that 😅 but 30 something year old me responded "are you kidding me?! You were the best mom." And its true. We can only be the best we can be. To know some of what my grandparents and parents have overcome makes me so grateful for my childhood. It makes me sad and mad too because it has effected us all. Some more than others but yet so much incredible growth.

And mostly I am just so so proud of them for being cycle breakers. And some people my age are the first cycle breakers in their families. I know many. Everyone has been directly or indirectly effected by the wars, post wars, addictions, abuse, the broken systems.. it is all trauma and it is still happenening. The other tough part is not residing there in the stories but transforming what we have learned to create our own pathways.

At the end of the day, it is a lot to unpack and I think that's where my generation comes in - many of us are ready to unpack it and feel it, and heal it. We are tired of broken systems. We know there is a better way than what we've been shown.

It's not easy; We have older generations telling us we are lazy and they are worried about our kids, but we aren't lazy, it takes a lot of energy to be brave and say no more to a system that is not designed for us, and especially our children. It takes a lot to admit you're broken and not lazy. It takes a lot to pick yourself back up when your experience is being kicked when you're already down..our generation doesn't have the village vibe, we have trust issues stemming through fears that don't even belong to us. Our bodies and hearts are screaming to be healed and some of us are answering the call.

This is all a part of what my own energy transits right now... the shadow work, some call it. I've been trying to write a brighter and lighter post all week, but the deep dark waters don't pretend to be sunshine. So here I am. This week I swim next week I shine ... its all part of the healing cycle until eventually for some each swim gets easier or you realize you can float 🌊 What a funny little process life is 😅

And life IS really weird right now, so many people feel it... and not to be dramatic but part of me thinks it is the collective chaos we feel, the in-between, the realization something hasn't been working on a systematic level, the coming undone, and hopefully the beginning of great change.

If you feel these things too, it is so important to practice grounding and self care. We've all been through so much and there is so much good coming from facing these unhealthy cycles. So so much good 💗

Phew. That's long. Thanks for reading ✌To pre order my autobiogrpahy book, just holla.... jk 😅

M
Xo

07/08/2022

Good Morning Parlor Friends 💗

It is going to be another hot one by the feel of that Nova Scotia air this morning. Although at the moment in Noel, the tide is on its way in so there is a slight breeze with a welcomed coolness, at least for now.

On my mind lately is the topic of mothers finding employment that will support the needs of her family. It can become an internal battle for me, so, naturally when I am needing a little guidance, I ask, WWMD (what would Maud do?)...and so I turned to her offerings and found comfort here today.

Flipping pages into just a century ago, Maud reminds us there is a reason it is so hard to navigate in this strange world. I know it's 2022 and we gotta live in the times but there is no denyiny that Mamas are out there picking up a million pieces of a shattered system ... yes I am a little disgruntled and ready for change 💗✌

Love to you all,
M
Xo

"It was unthinkable for a woman to take a job after marriage, unless necessity drove her to a neighbours to help with the washing. Men handled the money anyway, and one woman who had put in a day with tub and washboard, washing, sudsing, rinsing, bluing and starching a neighbour's wash said, "Don't let my husband know that you paid me." She was afraid that her fifty cents would go for his to***co.

Fifty cents was the regular wage for a day. There was no old age pension, only the poorhouse. One elderly widow went regularly to a home in Cheverie and did the week's wash, scrubbed the floors upstairs and down while the clothes dried, then ironed them before going home, all for fifty cents and her dinner.

Mary Starratt, the first girl in Cambridge to become a school teacher, before 1900, and Janie Skaling and Alice Spearing, who taught before 1910, were greatly envied by an elderly woman who had an intense longing to earn money. "If I could only be a girl these days," she said, "I would be a school teacher."

A letter written before working wives were accepted, tells of the discontent of wives who worked before marriage. One had worked in a newspaper office and now was considered "uppish" because she avoided fellow reporters. They did not know that it was self-defense. She longed "for that office and rusty old typewriter with every fibre of her being " and, the mere reading of the daily newspaper with the 'scoop' on her old 'run' makes her feel like a fire-horse rarin' to go." Continue reading...
https://lightposts.ca/love-maud/f/employment-for-women-no-longer-disrespect-for-the-husband

Mrs. Cecil C. Newcomb, Pembroke, Hants Co.

26/07/2022

Hello Parlor Friends 💗

Remember last week's post when I shared Maud's poetic embrace on the sea shores of ? Well, I have always been a fan myself.

Born and raised along the beautiful stretch of Hants County's Highway 215, I spent countless hours as a kid exploring the beaches and climbing the cliffs for golf balls and other treasures. Us 80s kids use to collect the golf balls lost over the banks at Cambridge Cliffs Golf Club ..(Minasview Links at the time). Back then we could return the balls to the golf course for some cash. (Is this still a thing?) W h e n our fun at the beach was done, some of us would buy candy or an ice cream float at the once thriving Nogami restaurant, located at the other end of the Hiltz Road.

Over the years, I have driven along the familiar scenery of the 215 many times and notice how thick the greenery has become and how so many of the spaces we use to play in have grown in, shape shifted or disappeared. However, recently, I am also noticing more & more that there are entrepreneurs and small businesses popping up along the way! How exciting! Not only is it good for our visitors & community members to enjoy, it also provides inspiration for more people to share their talents & gifts too! Let's keep growing!

The 215 is pretty expansive and has so much to offer the curious explorer from dusk til dawn and beyond! It touches me right through to my very core that I get to sit on the same beaches that were enjoyed by Maud, our family and friends 🌊

If you feel like sharing, what's your favorite memory or pit stop along the 215?

19/07/2022

Hello Parlor Friends! 💗

Summer lovin and it feels so good? We hope you're enjoying all that summer in Nova Scotia has to offer! We are busy with work, home, family, gardens, pets, life lessons and the beauty and chaos that surrounds us! If you've been wondering, we won't have another recording to release until fall when things start to slow down again. In the meantime, stay tuned for pop up posts and, of course, Maud offerings.

Speaking of, here is a sweet token of love for Nova Scotia that Maud authored during her "cabin days". .. enjoy,
♡M

There's a land that holds my
Heart strings
and I cannot wander far
Yellow birch and flaming maple
call to me
and the apple blossoms beckon
there's a lure I can't resist
in that apple blossom
province by the sea

There's a land that calls me
homeward
when my weary soul
needs rest
where the tall black spruced
point God's way to me
where the blue and silver
minas
guards my little cabin door
in that apple blossom province
by the sea shore

Nova Scotia Nova Scotia
That apple blossom province by the sea
When my weary soul is troubled
And I long for peace and God
It is then that Nova Scotia calls to me.

~ Written in Cabin Days - M. Newcomb.

04/07/2022

Hello Parlor Friends!

We hope you're enjoying the many delights of summer! Here in Nova Scotia we are booming and blooming every which way! Tis the season for freedom and fun! I know I am ready for some lighter days! Like, so ready.

And, I am learning my days are only going to get lighter if I put the required action forward. I struggle with putting myself first. For a very long time now, my automatic response has been to serve others. My family, my job(especially my job), my friends, my home, my irrational expectations. I have slowly been peeling back the layers and re learning to make myself a priority. It has literally taken me years to get to this space of even considering putting myself on the me too list, let alone the me first list.

Here I am.

With this ring I put me first. Every day.

A little story...
About two years ago I bought this ring from Locusart Jewellery as a Christmas gift to myself, which was the first gift I had ever placed under the tree, to me from me since having kids. Every morning I put this ring on before any other jewellery as a "me first" reminder. I can't remember when I started to say or intend this but it happened as my relationship with the ring developed. I knew Emily crafted each creation with her magic hands at Locusart Jewelley and I felt connection to this piece right away. It has turned into a daily reminder of my commitment to honour my needs first. This still feels wrong to say out loud. I have been programmed for so long to put others before myself that it takes consistent effort to relearn patterns and behaviors. A lot of people have used this term lately - put your oxygen mask on first - same thing. Getting to this space of understanding I NEED to put myself first hasn't come easy. Now, it is about taking time to learn what my personal needs are. It is taking time to know how to give myself what I need. It is taking time to accept this and live from this space; to verbalize my needs to others. To be okay with my needs changing as I grow.

It has been a long awkward journey for me but it feels good. And I know I'm not alone, which is helpful. I've sat in many circles of women who have shared similar experiences of not knowing how to put ourselves as a priority or to authentically take care of ourselves as we grow and change. The irony is most of us want this so we can better take care of and continue service of others, but are now seeing that has to be from a full cup.

Blessings to anyone on this journey learning to take care of #1 ❤

Michelle
Xox

28/06/2022

Happy Tuesday Parlor Friends ❤

This week I wanted to share an unpublished Maud offering, not offered in her books or articles.

I was gifted a lovely book of written Maud treasures, and, from that book today, I chose a powerful poem Maud wrote sixty years ago, in September 1962. It is a piece that tugs at the continous feminine reality. I won't get too deep into my personal thoughts on the message of the poem today but it does strike a cord deep within me. For hundreds of years women have lived with a disadvantage and Maud was critically aware of this and shared often about it in her writing. Never afraid to tell it like she saw it. I would love to read what she would write in 2022.

As frustrating as these realities are, I do find gratitude for having the background knowledge and support displayed on these pages. It makes me feel not so alone in my perspectives. It helps tend that fire inside to continue the good fight towards equality and divine love, one baby step at time.

A little depth for a rainy day.

Much love,
M, xo

https://lightposts.ca/love-maud/f/reality-of-a-woman-september-14-1962

By Maud Newcomb

19/06/2022

Happy Sunday Parlor Friends ❤

I am showing up writing from the wound today. I have been deeply feeling my pull to express through writing over the last week. I've been telling myself I shouldn't share from an open wound but then realized that we've created the Parlor space for exactly that reason. To have a safe space to express and talk about the hard stuff when we need to.

I am glad I waited though, because, now I have the best little heartwarming story about how Maud sent through a "message from beyond" during this very difficult week.

My whole world halted and shifted last Saturday after I received a phone call that my teen daughter was in urgent need of medical care. Since then everything has been a blur. I remember feeling my body shift into fight or flight mode and I don't think my nervous system has regulated just yet, but I am well on my way! Needless to say, it has been a very intense week. And I will say, we are all doing much better today.

The Maud Magic...
Following an important appointment on Wednesday, my daughter and I went to Frenchys for a quick thrift to boost our spirits and while we were at the counter paying, the young lady ringing us in commented and gestured toward my hand, "we have the same tattoo" she said. Well, I immediately thought "not a chance" but as I looked down at her hand I noticed we had very similar script and placement. It was so similar it shocked me. She continued, "Mine says 'Love You'." I told her mine said 'Love Maud' and asked her if her tattoo script belonged to someone special. She said "yes, my great grandmother’s." "Mine too." I said. We both felt the magic spark and stared at each other for a long time. Whoa.

I instantly knew I was in the right place at the right time. I had been praying to all of my grandmothers much more intently over the previous days. I spent a lot of time under the Moon asking my Grandmothers to give Abby and I strength and energy to push through those tough days, and, I don't doubt for a moment that this was a message from Maud and the gang letting us know we are supported and our prayers are being received.

This isn't the first time magic has shown itself. In fact, as a believer, I see it everyday, it just is a part of my world now. But this one, this one is one of the most profound, incredibly timed moments AND my daughter got to witness it too.

Today I wish you all a day and lifetime of magic 💗

Love Michelle
xoxo

07/06/2022

This weeks parlor offering is a quick (but impactful) guided journey.

Get cozy and find a place where you won’t be interrupted.

💫 This is best experience with headphones 💫

Take Care of your inner world! Spend time with yourself. Even though this is a guided journey, I encourage you to also spend time sitting in silence to better understand your inner environment.

31/05/2022

Happy Tuesday Parlor Friends! It's that time of the month for another Maud original!

This article recently stuck out to me. Given the current state of our economy and these last few months (decades) of inflation, financial stress is hitting many households. In Maud's time, she would have witnessed quite an interesting evolution with humanity's relationship to money. Here, she reflects history and offers her perspective on household finances and systems during the early to mid 1900s.

During current times, we may need to shift our own household systems to bear the impact of these rare happenings. I find comfort drawing from the knowledge and wisdom of those who came before us and who lived through their own rare times.

Please enjoy & be inspired, xo

By MAUD NEWCOMB

23/05/2022

Hello & Happy Holiday Monday!

Today we are honoring Queens! With a quick Google search I learned Victoria Day was implemented in Canada in 1845 to celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday. Queen Victoria passed in 1901 and the holiday carried forward to honor the Queen every year in May.

May is also a month we celebrate Nurse Week and Mother's Day. There's a common theme here that brings us to today's post.

Her name is Shirley Newcombe.

Shirley is one of Maud's daughters, and a twin to John, born in 1931. Growing up a natural caregiver, Shirley graduated from the Halifax Children's Hospital in 1954. She was undeniably a highly respected nurse and community member. Shown below, Shirley was chosen to welcome Queen Elizabeth to the hospital in Windsor during a Royal Visit to Nova Scotia in 1976.

A mother to none but a mother to all, Shirley loved and lived by her faith and generous heart. After caring for many, Shirley would eventually face her own health challenges and remarkably cure her cancer through her own study and treatments. You can find a newspaper article on Shirley explaining how she holistically navigated her way through to recovery! I will try to find the article and post it when I do.

It's no coincidence that when her time came in 2019, our sweet, nurturing Shirley crossed over on Mother's Day, of all days. A Queen in my eyes and in my heart, I am not sure I've ever met anyone like Shirley, so today, the Parlor would love to honour her with all the other Queens we know leaving a trail of love and light.

We hope you enjoy your holiday and perhaps if it resonates with you, in honor of Shirley and our Queen leaders of past, present and future, we could all do an act of kindness for ourselves or someone else in need of some nurturing.

Blessings to all,
Xo

Edit: Found the link for article! https://www.saltwire.com/atlantic-canada/federal-election/retired-windsor-nurse-battles-leukemia-using-traditional-alternative-medicines-290495/

15/05/2022

Did you know that during the beginning of the 20th century, nostalgia was considered a psychiatric disorder? Its symptoms included anxiety, depression, insomnia and an inability to know one’s identity. If you’ve read Brené Brown newest book ‘Atlas of the Heart’, then you may already know this.

We love nostalgia here at The Parlor (obviously). It keeps us connected to the stories that make us who we are. In order to better understand where we’re going, we must know where we came from.

We want to know what you think… What does nostalgia mean to you?

Nova Scotia is home to an abundance of heart led offerings. Join me as I explore the many holistic and alternative wellness opportunities in our Province.

11/05/2022

You have no idea, Maud, no idea 💗 (well, you probably do 😇).

A friend shared this photo with me and said it reminded her of me. It meant so much to be thought of and I instantly felt it's truth warm my heart.

It's no secret I became a little obsessed with Maud once I read just a few pages of her writing. Setting sail into a self discovery journey of my own, the timing was everything.

In January 2019, I was diagnosed with burnout and exhaustion and it was the end of my career as I knew it. My mental unwellness rippled into my physical body resulting in having a major surgery in March of 2019. Needing to rest my body, I threw myself into ancestry information seeking online. One night that April I had a very vivid dream of Maud's homestead, then owned by her daughter, my great aunt Shirley. The dream was so intense and detailed that it prompted me to send my aunt Shirley a letter asking questions I had about our lineage.

Shortly after, I received a letter back from Shirley inviting me, once I was recovered and could drive again, to visit with her so that we could dive into stories of past. Regrettably, Shirley crossed over very soon after I received her letter, and before I could make the trip to see her. A true Earth Angel and highly respected nurse, dedicated to service, Shirley holds a special space in my heart. She was one of the most powerful influences I have known and she played a significant role in my early childhood. I am sad we didn't get that opportunity to connect in person. However, I still feel her energy around me, perhaps, closer than ever before. She was really a remarkable human. An inspiration and invitation to love within and love without.

After Shirley's passing, I was reconnected with family and knowledge. My asking questions granted me several stories and Maud offerings. Maud kept records and entries about her, her grandparents and parents life. And, Nova Scotia and Canadian life in general during her time. The more I got to know, the more I made sense. Not only learning about Maud and her experiences, but all branches of my tree, has given me insight, inspiration and understanding of why I am the way I am. The wisdom and knowledge has not only allowed me to witness and heal generations of trauma within my dna, but has also allowed me to learn my innate and ancestral gifts.

A glimpse into your past can do wonders for your future. I am so grateful to Maud who understood this and left many clues behind to help us along. A definite treasure beyond measure.

Blessings to you all who are on your own self discovery journey! I have so many magical stories to share and feel so inspired to put them in a chapter book so that they can be easily found for any future soul seekers in my lineage and perhaps, one day, someone somewhere will pick up my soul off the pages I've left behind and find the comfort in knowing.

08/05/2022

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 🌺

I have so many feels about being a mom this year that I could write an article myself - but it wouldn't be as delicate as this one. I was reading through Maud offerings the other day and came across this article where she shares the history of Mother's Day, from her perspective.

She notes that Mother's Day originally was a day in church to honor mother's who have crossed over. So, a special Happy Mother's Day to Maud. Maud's energy has such a mothering vibe. She mothered eight children, including a set of Capricorn twins, John and Shirley. She lived through it all from 1893 to 1983, and she left her stories to be shared as a way to continue mothering us all. A special spirit I've heard, Maud's stories made their way into my world not a moment to late on my own parenting journey. I am so grateful for that. It's actually quite a magical story that started with a dream and me writing my Great Aunt Shirley a letter in 2019. That's a story for another day perhaps! Today let's celebrate and honor the mothering journey, whatever that looks like for you ❤🙏

Wishing you all a Maud-mothered day,

Michelle
Xox

https://lightposts.ca/love-maud/f/dont-forget-mother---may-13-is-her-day

MRS. CECIL C. NEWCOMB

24/04/2022

Happy Sunday Parlor Friends ❤ Can you believe we are beginning our last week of April? My lanta!

Just a quick little Maud share today for you to enjoy. The link below will take you to the full article, and other Maud articles of course. I am sharing this one simply because earlier today I snuck onto the old homestead property in Cambridge, Hants County, and helped myself to a slip of an outdoor climbing plant. I believe it is THEEE Queen of Sheba from this article and have been thinking about it ever since I first read about it. I am going to try to grow it as a tangible living connection to Maud. I'm a sentimental kinda gal but with little gardening knowledge - so wish me luck 😅🌸

I am personally landing in a bit of a confusing energy these days. Nothing really makes sense and I am being guided to change things up! I had a dream the other night and it felt like Maud was present or that she was perhaps the messenger. The message was "set it all down and the answer is within". That is in alignment with the little nudges I have had over the last few weeks and this dream felt like validation. When the Maud energy is present, I seem to naturally want to trust the guidance. So, I started the journey of letting go and am experimenting with setting things down for now, and, I believe, this will create space for true rest and clarity that I need. A lot like the Queen of Sheba today, I feel like I am detaching and being re-rooted. This could mean unexpected changes to all platforms and projects I am involved in - temporarily or permanently. I don't know what my future holds but for now I've began focusing on my physical body and brain health, restoring energy and stamina and I am looking forward to what's ahead ✌

Enjoy your day!
Michelle
Xoxo

By Maud Newcomb

15/04/2022

A third post THIS week?! Whhhaaaat!!?

We just wanted to pop on to wish you all a beautiful Easter weekend. However you celebrate this time of year, one thing connecting us all here in Nova Scotia is the awakening of spring time! The smells, the sounds, the scenery... it is a magical time of year to step back and take inventory of what seeds we are wishing to plant and to nurture in our gardens and our lives.

We will be disconnecting for the weekend and will catch up with you all again soon! We hope you have a beautiful holiday and we also hope you take some time to check out episode 5 with Meg! Let us know what you think!

Blessings,
Michelle & Jade
Xo

13/04/2022

The timeless wisdom Meg shares in this podcast would be adored by Maud, and we agree that Meg is host to deep knowledge and understanding. We are so proud of Meg an how she represents herself to the world. What a honour it was to chat with her.

Not only does she create amazing art, Meg is a wonderful mother and wife who takes pride in everything she does and is careful with the language she uses while speaking, which makes her words more potent.

We hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed chatting!!

Love Michelle and Jade.

13/04/2022

Meet Meg, she is our 2nd guest on The Parlor.

Meg’s timeless wisdom would be adored by Maud, and we agree that Meg is host to deep knowledge and understanding. We are so proud of Meg an how she represents herself to the world. What a honour it was to chat with her.

Not only does she create amazing art, Meg is a wonderful mother and wife who takes pride in everything she does and is careful with the language she uses while speaking, which makes her words more potent.

We hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed chatting!!

💫 🌟 YouTube link in comments 🌟 💫

Thanks Meg!

Love Michelle and Jade.

11/04/2022

Another Magical Maud Monday?

Time is basically non-existent to me lately and I am not sure that's a good or a bad thing but it does mean Sundays turn into Mondays sometimes! This week's Parlor share is from Maud. Lately, I have been feeling the nudges toward Maud's wisdom from this little handheld journal. Specifically the words, and I may have shared this before,

"Success is spiritual, mental and physical health, will-power and system."

Out of all of the advice in her books this entry is one which has always stuck with me from the very first time I read it. And honestly, success looks a lot different to me now than it use to, and, that has been really wild to grow through - perhaps a story for another day.

The most important message I take from this entry is that we absolutely have to be responsible for our self in all of these ways and that when we are able to hold space and be aware of our spiritual, mental and physical needs (and how they are all connected) we become a healthier version of ourselves and are then able to work with our will-power to create a personal system, operating on our strengths and allowing space for our weaker links, (learned and generational), and, that would, in turn, allow us to feel our authentic vibration of true success! In my opinion.

Personally, I am currently being called to work in the physical realm. I've spent so much time in the spiritual, mental and emotional realms over the last three years that it feels kinda tough to "come back to earth" and implement what I have learned about myself in the "real" world - especially when it appears to be in such conflict - but it is also becoming increasingly difficult to stay detached and in denial of the work I need to do to achieve personal systems and personal success, and most of all, to be a helper from that space.

Much Love & Light wherever you are landing on your journey today and always,

Michelle
Xo

P.S. What does success mean to you?