25/11/2023
A COMIC’S VIEW:
New Election, Same Old Results
by Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya
While professional pundits and casual political talking heads pore over the West End and Bimini by-election results, the average Bahamian voter might do better to pour a stiff drink instead.
Newsflash: PLP Wins By-election!
Except, this isn't news. At least, it's not new news. We read the same headlines in 2010 and 2012, after the only other by-elections this century.
Fun fact: The Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) is experienced at winning by-elections, particularly in party strongholds like Elizabeth in 2010 and West End, as they just did.
We can delve into why, but suffice it to say the PLP's base is particularly loyal even in off years, a fact that likely wasn't lost on former Prime Minister Hubert Ingraham when he reportedly advised current Free National Movement (FNM) leader Michael Pintard to 'sit out' this recent contest.
Still, the FNM did contest the seat left vacant after the passing of popular PLP cabinet member Obie Wilchcombe. And, well, you know how that turned out. The way by-elections usually turn out.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda
Strictly speaking, it's usually right after elections that the fun truly begins. It's when the time-honored Bahamian tradition filled with all manner of excuses, recriminations, and talk of 'coulda, woulda, shoulda’ starts.
Within nano-seconds of PLP candidate Kingsley Smith's victory, these fantastical gems entered the stratosphere:
'The PLP bought dem votes, and with our taxpayer money!'
'Dey was handing out contracts errywhere!'
'Dem PLPs was doing someting wit da ballot boxes… on da plane!'
'Brave and his trolls pay dem to come out!'
'Minnis and his trolls pay dem to stay home!'
'Well, why Pintard een try pay dem, too?'
'Lincoln dem dead broke, he can’t even pay attention!'
Pick the party, and I'll tell you what version of 'The Truth’™️ some of their supporters are running with.
Happy PLPs: Brave can't lose, king!
Disgruntled FNMs: *sucks teeth* We tell yinne it's (the People's) time to bring Doc back; only da Most-Honourable, Venerable, Miserable Competent Authority coulda win!
Confused COIs: It’s was never about if we win or lose, 'cause his Majesty King-President Lincoln is who we choose! Change een coming, change is here! No, not here in West End, but it’s here!
Looming problems
If you want a thoughtful breakdown of why the by-election turned out the way it did, please recall that the PLP and their base are more disciplined at turning out - no matter when 'da bell' rings.
But there were other factors at play.
The final tally will reveal that only around 65% of eligible voters did, in fact, show at the polls. That's a red flag for our democracy, considering similar low turnout numbers for the 2021 general election.
There are also (regrettable) issues surrounding the candidates to consider.
As unbelievable as it is that eventual winner Kingsley Smith doesn't have a bank account, it's also incredible that the good Reverend Ricardo Grant actually opened up his bank account - revealing he lost money in an international ‘loom’ scam.
Hmmm, who to choose? The guy who ‘plays crazy’ about his money or the one who was ‘crazy enough’ to give his money away to fraudsters?
One ‘crazy’ was harder to swallow.
Speaking of fraud, there's a counterfeit narrative floating around that the Coalition of Independent's(COI) 300-odd votes signals a shift in the political landscape.
Newsflash: Some 338 West Enders and Biminites voted for neither the FNM nor PLP in 2021.
Based on this week's unofficial results, around that same number did so again. So, no earth-shattering revelations there. Except to note a predictable coalescence around the Coalition.
Look to the Future
As much as some make of these by-election results, what we saw this week was expected, at least by those with a natural feel for Bahamian politics.
The results? Expected.
The PLP’s 'we have nuttin’ to answer for' strategy? Expected.
The electorate (who didn't vote) whining over results immediately after? Expected.
The threats of misguided FNM infighting? Again, expected.
But those wondering and strategizing about how to 'get out the vote' to previous high turnout levels so that we can see the most accurate ‘will of The People,' well, they're the ones asking the real questions.
If they're anything like me - though slightly amused at all the conspiracy theories- they're also somewhat concerned.
Voter turnout deserves way more attention than we give it. But that topic just isn’t ‘juicy’.
Until it is, grab yourself a glass and, like me, wait for the noise to pass.
“The vote is precious. It is the most powerful non-violent tool we have in a democratic society, and we must use it.” - John Lewis
