27/08/2024
YOUNG PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHEN TO MARRY:
One challenge that young people face that keep them waiting so long before getting married is economy. The boy wants to make ends meet, while the girl may be waiting for already made suitor.
In some cases girls reject men because they are not wealthy (who owns, may be a car, a house, fat bank account, lives in the city, from a wealthy family). And maybe, handsome at the same time.
Some may be privileged to fall into the hands of such already made men, but in most cases it is rare to come by.
It would be better for a girl to marry a man of her choice with moderate, and in spite of his economic challenge. Such a person could be helped, depending on the foundation of the girl.
A girl with good economic foundation can Marry and help her spouse to grow, that is if he has the foundation for growth. Both can grow together, mildly suffer and enjoy together.
If a man has a good economic foundation (good education, good handwork/skill, good trade etc), he is potentially rich. He has a good future. All he needs is someone to help him harness and organize the available resources around him.
In some cases girls who married "already made" become slaves in their husbands' homes. Some unfortunate ones later discover they are only secondary in the heart of their husbands (especially unbelievers) as the men already have someone distant that has occupied their hearts.
Some enslaved men only married to raise children while having someone that has eaten up their hearts and youthfulness. After a woman has snapped your youthful exuberance, your strength, when emptied, one now looks for an innocent girl to lay blames on.
I know a man who was used by a woman to the extent that it was the woman that now introduced him to a girl of her choice whom he married. This woman controlled this man and his relationship with the so called wife for a long long time till she became tired. The so called wife suffered so much in the hands of the hand picked husband.
I also know of a lady who got married to a rich man that is hardly at home. He has different excuses for not being available. When the wife confronted him, the only response he could give was, "you have food to eat, you have money to spend, you have gadgets around you, why not enjoy yourself with all that."
If you were to be in her shoes what would you do? When people marry late, maybe from 35 and above for the female, and from 40 for the male, let's assume there comes a biological/infertility challenge that demands medical attention, and no one knows how long it will take to correct, won't one be in a dilemma if it lingers?
This challenge may delay conception while age is no more on one's side. Considering the time, and as the case may be, the years to be spent in seeking medical remedy, and age of the woman, one needs to be wise in this area.
Another to this is the fact that men do not accept that delay in conception could be their fault, until proven otherwise. A couple may not have children at all, or may not get the number of children desired before menopause catches up on the woman and body weakness catches up on the man.
It happened to me. I was 32 when we got married. It took us about 5 years to get our first child due to medical challenges. 32 plus 5 gives you 37 years before your first child. If I were to be 40, add 5, that would be 45 before my first child.
What would have been our fate if we were disadvantaged by age. Reason well and plan accordingly. Someone would say, "Gods time is the best". God's time will not negate the effect of age; God's time and will will not negate the effect of times and seasons; and God's time for anyone as may be assumed will not negate the law of nature. See Hosea 4:6.
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children."
If I were to be a civil servant at 45, how many years is left before retirement. You see why some people retire from civil service without settling their first child. Some retire while their first child is still in secondary school.
That is why the Word of God says, "It is good for a man that he bears the yoke of his youth." Lam. 3:27. And, Psalms 90:12, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."
If all things be equal, and one had started at the right time to fight for life economic stability, by the age of 30, or at most 32, one should be able to settle down with a wife.
But to girls, no girl should pray to exceed the age of 28 unmarried. It has implications for the female body, check it out. Every woman should be able to manage her optimal reproductive period very well.
Remember, every woman has 3 to 4 seasons with regards to marriage. Everything created by God has its season and time. No one should be ignorant of these marriage seasons and times. The number one season is "CHOICE SEASON."
No matter your age, stature and structure, beauty and achievement, marry within your choice season. This season is the best time to to make a choice in the life of anyone, especially ladies.
If you miss your choice season, the next seasons might not favour you as you might depend on recommendation, and what is available may not be desirable, and what is desirable may not be available.
Reason is that at this stage in life one is fully mature and ripped and every hidden beauty and structure (mentally and physically) blossoms for the girls.
For the man, everything about him testifies he should be responsible. At this time, the girl becomes so comely/attractive for a rush.
One special thing about this season is that suitors will be at the disposal of a girl to accept or reject, and they may come in chains. Girls are "hot cakes" at this time.
Some may tend to wonder if they are the only girls in town.
By this period everything about you is in top form and top shape with breath taking attraction. Also some defects are hidden, health challenges minimal.
But as years go bye, shape begin to change, defects begin to show and you are beginning to grow out of choice into another season.
A wise and guided person should be able to make her best right choice. This period lasts for about 10 to 12 years, between 18 and 30 years of age. Though it also depends on one's pace at maturation - whether early or late bloomers.
Some people's choice season are longer or shorter than others. This choice span depends on body structure/physiological makeup and packaging.
A lady has the chances of getting married to a young suitor of her taste in her best season.
If by 35 a young man has nothing to show, marriage could create an open door, especially if one makes the right choice. The Bible tells us in Proverbs. 18:22. "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."
Again is the fact that youthfulness is for a season as in Lamentations 3:27. "It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young." Some do not understand the concept and principles of season in life.
Once there is health and life, there will always be the opportunity to make adjustments in life, but you can't adjust age.
Don't exceed your youthfulness, maximize it for the good of the unborn ones. Every normal person has only 10 years ahead of him or her (after the age of 16) to succeed or fail in life.
By 16, if all thing be equal, one ought to have finished secondary school. If so be it, the by the next 4 to 6 years, one must have graduated from the University, depending on the course of study. That would be 22 years.
If one did not go to the University, one may have learn a trade. If by 22 one is a graduate, or has finished learning a trade, 4 to 5 years is enough for one to have been established in life to settle down, and that would be 27. If one decides to add 3 to make it 30, it's still okay.
What will one be doing in these period after secondary education that one is not able to find his or her feet on the ground. Some young men are not ready for marriage, but they are spending on women and sowing their wild oats, wasting their strength on women.
The same with young women. They are not ready to marry, but they enjoy sleeping with men and receiving gifts from them. Some destroy their wombs through abortion.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.." 1 Cor. 7:8,9.
If we plan well we will live well. But if we fail to plan well, we plan to fail wilfully and woefully.
Credit to
Fulfilment
