DVJ in Ink (2024)

25/10/2024

I haven’t posted in a while , I have been writing but couldn’t post through the darkness. I know my Saviour Lives and He is very Real and personal to me .
I see the Light and I’m thankful God spoke Life into me , my prayer that you receive that Light of God , if you will . I am because He willed not I

Purpose
I am ,
To live out
To search out
To reach out
To speak out
To act out.
I am ,
Driven to believe
Propelled to question
Inspired to journey
Designed to Stand
Created to See.
I am ,
To love in Truth
To embrace in Compassion
To hear in Faith
To worship in witness
To hope in Sacrifice.
I am,
Son in training
Brother in need
Husband in stumbling
Father in submission
Child in Image.
I am,
As He Created
I am ,
Because He Breathed
I am ,
In His Image.
I am ,
Because He first Loved
I am ,
Because He willed.
I am,
Image of my Creator.
I AM.
DVJ 2024

08/10/2024

The strength of a man is not in who he can get but it’s in who he’s got .
Love who you are ,
What you are,
Where you are ,
Why you are,
Because you are,
With who you are
No excuse

18/09/2024

God
He goes before me
In troubled times.
From many troubles
He ushers my flesh.
In my darkest hour
His Hand is over me.
In every teardrop,
In every sigh,
There I see Him
Before it drops to the ground.
There I feel Him.
My tears roll with His,
Our cries , our sighs,
My Lord weeps.
Before my sorrow arrives,
His voice comforts me.
Before my heart crumbles,
He visits my soul.
Before my eyes see,
He sets my sights beyond Golgotha.
Worthless to self, He resurrects.
Shameless in guilt , He pardons.
Helpless in need, He delivers.
Before I ask , He imparts.
Before me , He walks.
YESHUA
DVJ 2024

05/09/2024

Sin
I had it locked and loaded
One up , in the chamber
Sin is the noose around my neck
It’s the sweat dripping like blood
My heart had failed me
My will has resigned
And my soul was down cast
Sin has made a nest in my flesh
A nightmare of my dreams
A heap of ash of my future
Guns were loaded , pointed at me
Lust lurked for me like a full metal jacket
My eyes hypnotised to the pleasures of flesh
Standing at the edge of a black hole
Known to swallow stars and a grave for them
Swallowed in , falling into sin
Moving at the speed of light , sin flashes towards me
My breath left my chest
Light disappeared from my eyes
And Hope has left me falling

Then I’m shook to attention ,
He shook me , Him that shock Golgotha
Calling unto me my son , my son
Come out of her , come out of her
In an instant I’m resurrected from doom
Sin fades and I see the devil run as it is written,
Resist the devil and he’ll flee from you
A mortal shot fired at my soul
A full metal jacket shot at my flesh
As I saw that mortal projectile approaching,
I lost sight of Jesus and His Power
I look down to where the impact would hit
As sin hits my chest like a ballistic bullet
It bounces off my flesh covered in full amour
In my fall , in my downward spiral
Wrapped up in sin fighting a war against evil
So focused of the battle for my life
I forgot about my Saviour and my power
I was covered in the full Amour of God
And sin could not pe*****te the Holy Amour of God
Daily I wear His Amour as David,
When confronted by Goliath.

In the heat of the battle we lose sight of our protection until what should have killed us was stopped by our amour
Put on the Full Armour of God
DVJ 2024

31/08/2024

In the heat of the battle we lose sight of our protection until what should have killed us was stopped by our amour
Put on the Full Armour of God

26/08/2024

Check for me
Life
I could live without you
But who would I speak to
I could wake up by myself
But who’d be the reason
I could live without cause
But what’d be my destiny
I could desire all want
But what would be the end

These questions in my head ,
Won’t answer themselves
These errors in my doing
Can’t spring up from nothing
These reasons I search for
Don’t manifest out of air
This beating in my chest
Could not be without design

Who am I,
Having these conversations ?
Why am I,
Believing theres reason ?
Where am I ,
Receiving this consciousness ?
In what am I,
Biologically categorised ?

If not for You ,
Why do I breathe ?
If not by You,
Why do I exist?
If not with You ,
Why do I strive
If not Love ,
Why do I live

There’s a voice in my head
Only my heart can identify
There’s a cause in my flesh
Only my soul can relate
There’s a conversation in my ears
Only my DNA can decode
There’s words on my lips
Only a Designer could fashion
There’s a Creator in my reflection
Only a sun can reveal
Only His Son .
DVJ 2024

15/08/2024

God is love
I’m wretched and broken
Do you think God sees what I do?
Imperfect and ugly
This mouth in my face ,
Say whatever the dumb do
The lies and the hurt,
You see the hate that my life do.
It is plain I’m a desert .
God is love
So that means He’s a blind dude
I ain’t tryin to be rude
But they say love makes you blind , do !
God can’t see who I am
Or He won’t do
These scars I inflict
These knives in my back
That’s what they do
God is love
So He don’t see me like they do
If love makes you blind
Then that’s the reason that He do
The love like He do .
It’s dark in my tears
I’ve been trying for years
And there’s still life in these bones,
Who knew,
I hear those who cry
They live but want to die
And those who die
But does not want to say goodbye
But they do .
He’s love and that’s blind
But I’m glad that what He do
Without His love I’ll be dead , true.
God is love,
And I know this because , I do
No one should love , not even I do
He sees through the mask that makes Him do,
The things none of you do
I was lost and am found
That’s what He do
I am wounded and damned
That’s what the world do
But He opened my eyes
And my mind too.
God is love
And He taught me to be blind
To the things of this world too
Now I rest in His love
And I see in the mirror what He do
God is blind to my flaws
That’s unconditional
No one loves like He do
That’s habitual
He is Love , He is God
That’s what He do
DVJ 2024

15/08/2024

If love makes you blind and God is love
He can’t see me for who I am but sees me for who I can be through His love , because He is love
YHWH

31/07/2024

We attended Fox Valley for Firm Foundation with Ron Sydney last night and it blew us away. My sister passed away and I was in Africa last month , while there I spoke with my family on 1Peter 2-6 , walking on water . Vanessa Matthews you remember our conversation, I was thinking of you . Ron you took it to another level for my wife and I , I knew I had to see you no matter what and you confirmed that Christ has heard us . Firm foundation out of Peter walking on water ,,it was bold when Peter walked to Jesus on water and it’s still bold thousands of years later and you started the night bold . Jesus is the solution and while Peter kept his eyes on the solution he walked on water and when he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the problem which was the water , he sank . While Jesus is with us even the shakiest surface can be a Firm Foundation. Love you Ron Sydney.

04/07/2024

Stuck in reverse
I’m walking back but you’re not there,
The knock on the door cannot be you,
The phone call I’m expecting never comes,
Your voice cannot call me but I hear the words.
I stare at pictures of you,
And the pixels turn to memories.
I zoom into the expression of your face,
And my mind connects the dots.
You’re so beautiful, I wish I could live in my thoughts.
Every step in reverse I get closer to you, just to discover another memory.
I walk through your possessions to feel you….
Somehow.
I touch the work of your hands , just to feel your dedication.
Every stitch you crocheted, knit us closer together.
The colours of your tears hidden in every hook, like the pixels in my mind tell a story of you.
The quilts you knitted, weave us together in love.
I look ahead but it’s too painful,
You’re not there.
In reverse , there I find you
There I visit your smiles, your voice calls me.
I see you dancing in the ballroom of my head.
I feel this tight embrace around my heart.
I don’t wanna let go of your embrace.
Your hugs fade around my arms.
Even in reverse they fade like pixels
to a solitary place, where my tears dance to you.
Where my memories rummage through my thoughts,
Where my eyes search you out,
Where my heart learns the quickest way to you.
And still, just in memory,
I think back and there you are
Stuck in reverse I found you ….
DVJ 2024

04/07/2024

Behind these eyes
It’s eating at my flesh,
It’s taunting my spirit,
It’s s suffocating my soul.
My heart has lost it’s will
My breath has resigned
My eye’s lamp has run out
Bones crumble as ground in a mill
The mind struggles through the fog
Words are jumbled,
Like a puzzle without puzzler
I try to make sense of senselessness
Eyes rolled back as my existence diminishes,
I cry out ,
I cry out to them but the screams can’t leave my chest
My lips move and I want to love them with a kiss
Lying here still , wriggling in my flesh
This body has held me captive far too long
They mumble over my head,
And I’m listening for those voices I love
A tear strolls down my cheeks ,
I hear her voice, I feel her close
They’re here with me whispering in my ear
I feel their breath on my skin as they whisper love
I recognise them through the pain and the darkness,
Them that nurtured me.
Others cut at me but they don’t know ,
God has cut me from this world already
They pump at my chest and contaminate my veins,
In vain they try to resurrect me
There’s a resurrection He’s shown me,
There’s a body He’s gifted me,
And on it I see no scars, in it I saw no pain
And for it, I saw no end
Truly it is well with my soul
DVJ 2024 07/06/24

My little sis Cindy-lee Motala , forever in our hearts

07/06/2024

Goodbye
You’re the hardest to speak out
You mean so much too,
You unleash so easy
I’ve just learnt to say hello
I’ve just learnt to love you close
Goodbye, you cut so deep
I’ve never learnt to love you
I’m uneasy as you approach
I’m awkward in your presence
Your hugs are never pleasant
Your kisses bitter sweet
I feel the distance creep in
Every time your cheers are near
Goodbye, where’s your love ?
I’ve just learnt to say hello
I’m not ready to let go
I’ve just learnt to say I know ,
When you say I love you so
Tears roll in and cry’s alive
Every time I know your near arrives
You take joy with you every time you leave
The silence can be cut with a knife
I look at the empty seats as you depart
The words linger in the empty space
And just like you , I see them slowly fade
I’ve just learnt to say hello
I’m not ready to say goodbye
I’ve just learnt to say hi
DVJ 2024

05/06/2024

Self

Death is in my decisions
Malice is in my tongue
An enemy has festered in my mind
You don’t want to encounter,
I’ve inflicted hurt with these hands
I’ve fed lies to my eyes
And led my flesh to believe it
My lips have kissed the w***e
And I’ve drank of her wine
I’ve searched my soul
But the darkness deterred me
I’ve questioned the heart
And tears flowed instead of answer
My thoughts scare me
My ears fear me
My deeds convict me
And my past enslaves me
Self, I’ve searched to no avail
And at the bottom of my tears,
There , He found me
In Christ alone do they envy me
Through His Blood , they pursue me
Because of His Love, they persecute me
In His covenant they reject me
By my self they misled me
Without YHWH I’m without worth
Without the Son of Man I’m without promise
Before God I was vanity to self
By God, I’m envy to their eyes
DVJ 2024

03/06/2024

Jesus
Jesus I need you today like I never have before
I need You still with every fibre of my core
This world ain’t my home
I’m hunted with a chrome
There’s a red dot on my dome
North and south no matter where I go
They want my blood to flow
The lie is bigger than I know
In this climate I fear my seed won’t grow
There’s a devil on my back I cannot shake
I don’t know if judgement is one I’ll make
If only you knew the hurt he sows in his wake
No flesh can endure no eye can behold
His grip on my life is so cold

Though dim and frail the Lord paid my bail
In His promise is my veil His embrace that Holy Grail
That monkey on my back has seen his end
Jesus my Saviour is here and He calls me friend
One by one I conquer my fears
Can you believe it , I once was blind but now I’m like , cheers
Jesus took off all my chains
The pains turned to gains
In my life it’s Jesus that reigns
That war in my brain has left no stain
Washed by the blood only love can explain
From the lane to the plain
My Lord’s not in vein
On His Holy Hill I’ll worship on that mountain
The Lamb is risen that grave that they gave is not His prison
The Lion of Judah said It Is Written
No weapon formed has permission
God Most High is my Physician
DVJ 2024

30/05/2024

Hope
You’ve cast hate from my heart
Put life in my path
You’ve set a Lamp unto my feet
And for my lips You’ve given a Holy kiss
My tongue struggles over harsh words
And my eyes abhor the things once loved
My mind is at war with itself
Working day and night against darkness
Deep within I feel that Hope
Pained I walked this world
Lost and rejected wounded and cast out
For my feet I found no destiny
For my heart I found no comfort
For my soul I found no rest
For my flesh I found no reason
For my breath I found no purpose
For my ears I found no wisdom
For my tongue I found no worship
And there through my tears I heard Him
I wish you no hurt , why do you accuse Me ?
Search Me and see My intention.
In my darkest moment You found me
In my deepest despair You held me
I’m my most desperate state You called me
My Hope is built on nothing less ,
Then, Jesus Christ and Righteousness
DVJ 2024

25/05/2024

The biggest victory in my life is when I kneel and she comes kneel next to me in prayer,
She use to lift the glass with me ,
She use to smoke a blunt with me,
She use to ride with me, you gun in hand ,
She use to cuss with me ,
We use to roll the dice and dance
We use to party into the night and fade
We use to live it up on stage
We use to fight and bump heads
But the woman I’m most proud of ,
Is the one that kneels with me .
DVJ 2024

13/05/2024

Return
From the darkness I lift my head
A sinner drenched I am
A sinner wretched is me
Like a lamb to the slaughter
No defence in this onslaught
My tongue runs ahead saying things the heart cannot retract
My mind thinks thoughts I’m ashamed of
But where is this from ?
My flesh does that which I’m not to do
And what I am to do I do not

I’ve just returned from deep dark sin
And He holds me close
So close, too tight I cannot speak, worthlessness.
He embraces me in His power ,
That I have no strength to self harm
He kisses my lips with a Holy kiss ,
I’m unable to condemn my flesh
I’m drenched in a cloak of unrighteousness
And there I see the wounds I brought
I see the blood I’m cleaned in

There’s no sin greater than His love
There’s no loss He cannot reach
There’s no soul so far He cannot save
There’s no love He cannot restore
There’s no sin He cannot forgive
There’s no darkness He cannot make Light
There’s no life He cannot redeem
An instant in His presence is a life restored
DVJ 2024

10/05/2024

Purpose
I ask myself what is purpose ?
What is the reason for living ?
Where does the breath want to lead me to ?
Why am I in this flesh ?
Where does this drive come from?
These words on my tongue, who are they for?
The speech from my lips?
The gaze from my eyes ?
The mission of my ears?
The steps in my journey?

And there she is in front of me
The most beautiful rose
Broken and bruised
Tears stroll down her cheeks
Fragile and hungry
As our eyes lock, I remember her,
In my prayers, I’ve asked for her
In my dreams I’ve seen her
In my heart I’ve felt her
Though meeting for the first,
I’ve known her forever

She’s my purpose and my reason
She’s my life and my breath
She’s my drive and my existence
Words had no meaning before her
Speech had no composition without her
Eyes had no sight before her
Ears had no audience prior her
And my journey had no destination before her.
Natalie
DVJ 2024

DVJ in Ink

25/10/2024

08/10/2024

18/09/2024

05/09/2024

31/08/2024

26/08/2024

15/08/2024

15/08/2024

31/07/2024

04/07/2024

04/07/2024

07/06/2024

05/06/2024

03/06/2024

30/05/2024

25/05/2024

13/05/2024

10/05/2024

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