The Kilburn Chronicle (2024)

16/05/2023

*THE KILBURN CHRONICLE.*

OPEN MIKE NIGHT EXSTRAVAGANZA

WANTED! MUSICIANS, COMEDIANS POETS, choirs, magicians FOR OPEN MIKE NIGHT.
When: Friday May 19th.
Time: 7.00pm to 10pm.
Where: Windsor Gardens. (For further information see below)

Community announcement

Date of publication March 29.. 2023.
Issue 13.1.31.3.

Yes! And it is about time the north eastern suburbs can claim that they have a internationally recognised Open Mike variety venue.

Backyard theatre productions is holding its second inaugural open Mike extravaganza
All artists from beginners to professionals are welcome
The date is Friday May 19.
Next 2 are: Friday June 30.
Friday July 28.
Time: 7.00pm to 10.00pm.
Location: Windsor Gardens
Just bring your instrument and voice and plugin to the state of the art PA system. Guitar amps, microphones and drum kit. .
For further information and street address contact backyard : theatre productions:
Phone 0411 05 05 95 or
Email: [email protected]

It is rumoured that the controversial band “Cranky Franky and the Mobsters” may be their.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE
Email [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

*THE KILBURN CHRONICLE.*

OPEN MIKE NIGHT EXSTRAVAGANZA

WANTED! MUSICIANS, COMEDIANS POETS, choirs, magicians FOR OPEN MIKE NIGHT.
When: Friday May 19th.
Time: 7.00pm to 10pm.
Where: Windsor Gardens. (For further information see below)

Community announcement

Date of publication March 29.. 2023.
Issue 13.1.31.3.

Yes! And it is about time the north eastern suburbs can claim that they have a internationally recognised Open Mike variety venue.

Backyard theatre productions is holding its second inaugural open Mike extravaganza
All artists from beginners to professionals are welcome
The date is Friday May 19.
Next 2 are: Friday June 30.
Friday July 28.
Time: 7.00pm to 10.00pm.
Location: Windsor Gardens
Just bring your instrument and voice and plugin to the state of the art PA system. Guitar amps, microphones and drum kit. .
For further information and street address contact backyard : theatre productions:
Phone 0411 05 05 95 or
Email: [email protected]

It is rumoured that the controversial band “Cranky Franky and the Mobsters” may be their.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE
Email [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

31/03/2023

*THE KILBURN CHRONICLE.*

OPEN MIKE NIGHT EXSTRAVAGANZA

WANTED! MUSICIANS, COMEDIANS POETS FOR OPEN MIKE NIGHT.
When: Friday April 21st.
Time: 7.00pm to 10pm.
Where: Windsor Gardens. (For further information see below)

Community announcement

Date of publication March 29.. 2023.
Issue 13.1.31.3.

Yes! And it is about time the north eastern suburbs can claim that they have a internationally recognised Open Mike venue.

Backyard theatre productions is holding its inaugural open Mike extravaganza
All artists from beginners to professionals are welcome
The date is Friday April 21.
Time: 7.00pm to 10.00pm.
Location: Windsor Gardens
Just bring your instrument and voice and plugin to the state of the art PA system. Guitar amps, microphones and drum kit. .
For further information and street address contact backyard : theatre productions:
Phone 0411 05 05 95 or
Email: [email protected]

It is rumoured that the controversial band “Cranky Franky and the Mobsters” may be their.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE
Email [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

24/02/2023

The Kilburn Chronicle

Public invite to the biggest charity event of the decade.

Community announcement

Date of publication February 8th. 2023.
Issue 13.131.3.
Editors editorial

Cranky Franky holds countries biggest charity event.

As you know Cranky Franky (alias Anthony Clarke) and his band has discovered the Lord. And has decided to give up his gangster ways. And has decided to devote his life to help those fallen souls who lost their way in the gangster business.

His newly established charity called “no gangster shall live in poverty by 2025”is having a fund raiser on Saturday February 25 at his secret hide out.

Cranky Franky wants to raise enough collateral to purchase the historical listed horse float of the infamous race horse “fine cotton” Not just to keep this historical piece of racing history in the country. But to give it a new life to carry his bands musical equipment around in. But to use it to save souls by taking it to the alleys and by ways and to derelict parts of the state were the unemployed gangsters have retreated to.
This horse float will also operate as a bar to provide nourishing prohibition booze to sooth souls of these fallen unemployed gangsters. Plus to provide a private space in the back of the float for counselling and to help rehabilitate these fallen gangsters and restore their souls back to their former glory.

Did you know that the highest unemployed poverty ravished group in this state are our local gangsters. Statistics suggest this group is rapidly reaching 90%unemployment levels.
Cranky Franky states that this is unacceptable and vows to reverse this statistic by 2025.

So Cranky Franky would like to make you an offer you can’t refuse. And join in at this charity extravaganza where he can use tried and traditional methods to extract money from you for this worthwhile cause.
Where he will be running a sweep stakes for the horse race infamously known as “The Kilburn Cup. Plus the usual raffles and the “Where in the hell am I” drinking trail. Where the finest bottles of his prohibition moon shine is secretly placed around the venue. For patrons to discover. With a prize for those who survive and stamp their drinking passports and go in to the draw for a door prize.

Also Cranky Franky and his band the “mobsters’ will be playing and revealing the story in song form of “lotto” the Mafia’s first female assassin. And how he escaped from this female killer.

So to save our organisation coming around to your abode to personal seek confirmation of your attendance. We would greatly appreciate confirmation of your attendance by Email. So we know how many to cater for. Or contact Cranky Franky on his private hot line. (contact details listed below)
Once you contact Cranky Franky to confirm your attendance. He will send you the address to his secret hide out/house of worship.
Yours sincerely In the name of the lord

Cranky Franky and his silent partner
Father Lovejoy from the
hit fringe show “The father, the daughter and the holy devil.
Date of charity fund raiser: Feb 25. 2003.
Contact Cranky Franky (alias Anthony) for address, catering etc.

Email: [email protected]
Face book: Cranky Franky and the Mobsters | Adelaide SA | Facebook
Phone 0411 05 05 95.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE
Email [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

The Kilburn Chronicle

Public invite to the biggest charity event of the decade.

Community announcement

Date of publication February 8th. 2023.
Issue 13.131.3.
Editors editorial

Cranky Franky holds countries biggest charity event.

As you know Cranky Franky (alias Anthony Clarke) and his band has discovered the Lord. And has decided to give up his gangster ways. And has decided to devote his life to help those fallen souls who lost their way in the gangster business.

His newly established charity called “no gangster shall live in poverty by 2025”is having a fund raiser on Saturday February 25 at his secret hide out.

Cranky Franky wants to raise enough collateral to purchase the historical listed horse float of the infamous race horse “fine cotton” Not just to keep this historical piece of racing history in the country. But to give it a new life to carry his bands musical equipment around in. But to use it to save souls by taking it to the alleys and by ways and to derelict parts of the state were the unemployed gangsters have retreated to.
This horse float will also operate as a bar to provide nourishing prohibition booze to sooth souls of these fallen unemployed gangsters. Plus to provide a private space in the back of the float for counselling and to help rehabilitate these fallen gangsters and restore their souls back to their former glory.

Did you know that the highest unemployed poverty ravished group in this state are our local gangsters. Statistics suggest this group is rapidly reaching 90%unemployment levels.
Cranky Franky states that this is unacceptable and vows to reverse this statistic by 2025.

So Cranky Franky would like to make you an offer you can’t refuse. And join in at this charity extravaganza where he can use tried and traditional methods to extract money from you for this worthwhile cause.
Where he will be running a sweep stakes for the horse race infamously known as “The Kilburn Cup. Plus the usual raffles and the “Where in the hell am I” drinking trail. Where the finest bottles of his prohibition moon shine is secretly placed around the venue. For patrons to discover. With a prize for those who survive and stamp their drinking passports and go in to the draw for a door prize.

Also Cranky Franky and his band the “mobsters’ will be playing and revealing the story in song form of “lotto” the Mafia’s first female assassin. And how he escaped from this female killer.

So to save our organisation coming around to your abode to personal seek confirmation of your attendance. We would greatly appreciate confirmation of your attendance by Email. So we know how many to cater for. Or contact Cranky Franky on his private hot line. (contact details listed below)
Once you contact Cranky Franky to confirm your attendance. He will send you the address to his secret hide out/house of worship.
Yours sincerely In the name of the lord

Cranky Franky and his silent partner
Father Lovejoy from the
hit fringe show “The father, the daughter and the holy devil.
Date of charity fund raiser: Feb 25. 2003.
Contact Cranky Franky (alias Anthony) for address, catering etc.

Email: [email protected]
Face book: Cranky Franky and the Mobsters | Adelaide SA | Facebook
Phone 0411 05 05 95.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE
Email [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

21/12/2022

*THE KILBURN CHRONICLE*

Date of publication Dec. 01. 2022.
Issue 13.1313.
Editors editorial

"wow! wow! wow!"
"The sound is to bright and the lights are too loud"
this is what the survivors of the KDF 40th anniversary celebrations blurted out after Cranky Franky and the mobsters performance. Which can only be described as a near death supernatural experience.

After their performance Patrons were escorted or carried out to the emergency tent erected in the car park to help with their recovery.

Priest were brought in to perform exorcisms on those most effected by this performance.

Our cadet reporter “Kit steven Byron Clarke” who survived an attempted assassination by someone allegedly connected to Cranky Franky. Prematurely checked out of hospital to report on this potential illegal performance by Cranky Franky and the Mobsters.
Unfortunately our cadet reporter after sneaking into the concert. Was so traumatized by the performance Was admitted into an insane asylum after priest who tried to perform a exorcism on him said “I think it is too late for him”.

When I visited him at his Glenside ward. He kept repeating "wow! wow! wow!"
"The sound is to bright and the lights are too loud"
But every now and then he had moments of clarity and whispered to me some of the events that took place on the evening.
The main thing he kept repeating was” he noticed the lights in the whole venue were flickering on and off and a supernatural glow descending over Cranky Franky and watching him disappear and reappear in different spots on the stage while his microphone in its stand started spinning round and round and round. And that lefty Loui the rhythm guitarist seemed to be floating around the stage during his solo performances. And the drummer (Pistil packing Pete) was foaming from the mouth and seemed to be in some sort of crazed frenzy and appeared to be levitating out of his chair so high that his drums sticks weren’t connecting with the drums. Yet the drum beat kept on going but in some sort of satanic prime evil beat.
Then co incidently as the police arrived to shut Cranky Franky down, a lights went out only for a second and it became deathly quiet and when the lights came back on Cranky Franky and the band had completely disappeared.

How ever the night was saved and sanity restored when the band which by the way was voted band of the decade by the Kilburn chronicle “mon Cheri”. Whose lead singer “Joanne” could reach notes so high she could shatter a stubby of beer and the led guitarist could skull a whole can of beer while doing a lead break.
Mon cherri seemed to bring back some sort of order and the remaining patrons partied on well into the Night.

Written by the chief editor of
The Kilburn Chronicle
Email: [email protected]
Face book: The Kilburn Chronicle

04/11/2022

THE KILBURN CHRONICLE

Date of Issue Friday November 26. 2021.
Fine arts section.
Issue 13.

“CRANKY FRANKY AND HIS BAN” OUT PLAY Police in concert shoot-out”

Cranky Franky recently reformed his notorious band (The Mobsters) after his 2 band members were controversially paroled early for good behaviour a few months ago this year. These two men are commonly known as Little lefty Loui. Who also acts as Cranky frankys body guard, det collector, quick getaway driver from concerts. And is the rhythm guitarist.
The other band member that was released was also Cranky Frankys booky and accountant and now can only play the drums after a tragic accident when he was administering a injection to his race horse. (fine cotton). It is said that the horse kicked him so hard that it left a imprint of the pistil he had in his jacket on his chest“
So this drummer is now known as “Pistol Packing pollard.

Ironically the date of their release directly corresponded with an instant increase in crime wave of hotels being robbed
And in regards to the shoot-out at the Duke of Yorke Hotel Cranky Franky was quoted to say “it is clear that the police have a vendetta against me and our honest hard working band. Even though we were playing at the Hotels that got robbed, We were playing on stage at the time of the money and jewellery going missing. So it would be impossible four us to be involved in the robberies.
And we were on stage when the Duke of York got robbed on the night of the shoot-out.
The reporter then asked Franky “How do you know the Duke of York was robbed as they or the police have not announced this yet.”
And before this reporter could finish his sentence a scuffle broke out with 2 of Franky’s body guards and escorted the reporter out of the building. And has not been seen since.

When another brave reporter asked Franky “Why did you shoot at the Police”.
Cranky Franky quickly replied “it was simply a seta by Police to get us of stage.”. You see our guns were toy guns and were part of the act. And it was simply a co incidence that the police were in the direction we were aiming at. So you see, it was all make believe and there was no reason for the Police to shoot back. They nearly killed me”.
Cranky Franky then took of his hat and showed me the bullet hole in it.
Cranky Franky then went on to say “And as for the 3 real pistols found in the lane way. Were either planted by the police or the actual robbers put them there for their intended robbery, Hoping the blame would fall on me and the band.
I am seriously considering suing the police and the Kilburn Chronicle for miss carriage of justice and slander.”

So after the shoot out the Police realised that Crankys band members were only using toy guns and no charges were laid. But there presence was made known until the concert finished.

And just as well as in a strange twist of fate. The police had to protect Cranky Franky and band members from the jealous boyfriends of the myriad of girls exposing themselves and wanting to go home with the band.

There is no doubt that Cranky Franky and the ban have not lost there touch and are more controversial than ever.
Cranky Franky and the mobsters aren’t sure when they are playing next due to a controversial public safety court order placed on the band forbidden them to give public performances for the near future. As the government feels that Cranky Franky and the mobsters are a bad influence on society and are corrupting our youth.
Cranky Franky vows to fight this mis justice of artistic freedom. So that he and his band can bring joy and happiness to the people in these dark covid times.

Written by
Kit Steven Byron Clarke
Award winning Fine arts cadet reporter
For the KILBURN CHRONICLE

The Kilburn Chronicle

16/05/2023

31/03/2023

24/02/2023

21/12/2022

04/11/2022

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