The Temora Times - News Service

12/09/2022

Love the concept - just not the ex*****on.

24/02/2022

*** War Turns Out To Be Not Such a Bad Thing ***

Sure, the War in Ukraine comes with its negatives; significant loss of human life, cost of fuel, global volatilities across most markets and ofcourse Russia and China's unchallenged march through sovereign countries.

But one local bachellor who always seems to find the silver lining, reckons that one of the upsides to the situation is that the cost of Eastern European ladies has dipped significantly since this whole shamoozle kicked off.

With a bit of money left over from the new 300 Series, Jimmy Gardiner, decided that instead of buying round-up or future proofing the farm. He actually thought a new mail order wife would look good in his 1960s kitchen. And what an absolute bargain he looks to get. "Just 2 years ago, proper medically inspected virgins were going for $30k, the best thing with the deal is that they will even replace her if she takes off in the first 6 months. Now... well now, they're only $6k but the challenge is you have to fly them out yourself. And with Scomo's opening the border, it's all marmalade once you get them into Poland"

In typical Jimmy fashion, he has now planted an entire crop of beetroot with the hope of luring a young lass and the promise of all she make/eat borscht. And to sweeten the deal even further, he recently shot his long suffering pacer that will be now be butchered up into the finest horse meat this side of the Pedigree factory.

More to come.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

01/11/2021

***Ghouls and Goblins Roam the Street***

No, Daryl and his long lost lover - Gladys were not in town, but there were plenty of ghosts and skeletons out of the closet yesterday afternoon in Temora for Halloween.

Little Justin Walsh was pretty happy about the whole setup "Yeah lollies!" he managed to shout whilst going off the charts on his blood glucose tester that he has for his obesity related Type 2 diabetes.

"It's all a bloody American thing" said Frank Bundry from Bectric. Who was clearly not aware that Halloween has its roots from the Celts and Pagans in Ireland. "Yeah, but it's a bit like school shootings, the Yanks have really made it their own!" he chortled.

Australia is certainly a lot more relaxed when it comes to costumes it seems. You can still paint your face black or dress like an Indian without the risk of someone calling it a hate crime.

In an interesting turn of events. The community of antivaxxers was out wandering the street. The Covidiots don't want a needle from a Doctor but are happy to accept lollies from random people without questioning where they came from or what they contain.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop.

12/10/2021

*** Local Businesses Forced To Shut Up ***

In an avalanche of emotions, two local establishments in Temora have made the decision to shut their doors until such a time when they are allowed to welcome back the socially unconscionable.

In a case of shut up and shut-up the businesses posted lengthy monologues defending their stance and doubling down by challenging who ever it was that reported them saying, "dibber dobbers kiss robbers and snitches get stitches you bi***es".

Police were a little more subdued in their response, "look, I can't really speak about an ongoing issue but if someone dobs in a drink driver it's not an issue. The driver knows the law and was caught doing the wrong thing, as a result they're taken off the road. This is kinda the same - even down to the 'Poor me, stop picking on me' petulant attitude."

But the most support was reserved for the comments section which became an echo chamber of clapping seals from a few vocal locals and unsurprisingly a lot of people not even connected with Temora but feel so passionate about the issue.

The care emoji was on fire.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop.

10/10/2021

Trying to work out the Government's rules that kick off tomorrow? It's pretty simple really 🤪

08/10/2021

Another year another couple of dozen broken windows.

*** Bumper Season Ahead For Local Cricket ***

The town and representative cricket players started rolling a few overs last weekend in a season that looks to be amazing.

Diehard cricketer and local legend, Gete Perhard explained "Things are really looking up this year, all you have to do is check out Pardey's Mill. The kids have really got their eye in and judging by the holes in those windows they mustn't have been small rocks."

Unfortunately, it seems those kids aren't exactly keen on cricket "Whilst we've been trying to get them onto the field in whites, they'd rather rip cones on a Saturday."

He continued on saying, "I just don't get it, as if you wouldn't want to spend 6hrs in 40°C heat in the middle of a dry oval.... come to think of it... why would you!?!? I wonder who their dealer is?"

Spliffs over sixers it would seem.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

30/09/2021

When you steal a car, get in a police chase, bring COVID to the region, but Kmart and Bunnings are life.

10/09/2021

*** Drinking From The Top Shelf This Weekend ***

A collective cheer was heard across the Temora region as the Boss Lady announced that we are 'free' to do as we please from midnight tonight.

It's unknown if the Shamrock Hotel Motel Temora The Shammy or Temora Hotel will swing open doors at 12.01 Saturday morning or wait until daylight to commence trading, but as one patron put it "That first pot off the pine will be delicious. I may even have to make up for the last 4 weeks and have a real bender." Which is music to the ears of publicans.

Whilst a majority of arm curls will be done at the bar, another group of fanatics cannot wait to get back into the gym and do some arm curls of their own. "Bro, I've been bulking this whole time, now it's time to get this summer rig ready. It's all about the bi***es on the beaches" said Shaun Sheffield, who is particularly optimistic about getting away for his annual South Coast trip - regardless of any lockdowns that may continue.

The lockdown also couldn't come soon enough for stay-at-home mummy come teacher, who found herself reaching for the mummy juice exceedingly early each day as the weeks went on. "The lazy teachers have been telling me for years that my kid needs medication to focus. I finally did it because I couldn't put up with them anymore" said one anonymous mother. "Jokes on them but, I only got a month's worth of tablets" she laughed as digging out the school clothes ready for Monday.

One group of businesses that have been unaffected by the extended lockdown is the agricultural supply shops of the region. "There seems to be a lot of worms around his Spring" said Jack Abels of Ag'N'Co. "We can't seem to keep up with demand for Ivermectin. We even had fleabags coming in asking for it, and I know they are not even allowed to own animals after that cockfighting incident a couple of years ago" he said.

Local medical expert Dr Hanukkah said "Apparently they don't want the vaccine because they don't know what's in it, but are happy to take something designed for animals. And, their drug dealer supposedly only uses the best products for their monthly cook ups"

All this proves is that Australia is the best in the world at lockdowns!

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

24/08/2021

*** Spicy Cough Comes To Town ***

COVID-19 has well and truly come the closest it's ever been with a confirmed case swinging through town last week. Whilst the persons occupation and name is kept confidential, we can only assume they like fuel, newspapers and hot pies. There are also unconfirmed reports that they may have visited a certain house in Aurora Street illegally, but mum's the word and they don't want their partner to find out.

It is an interesting turn of events given Temora’s strong Anti-Vaxx or Confirmed-Idiot population and reluctance to follow the rules with multiple businesses routinely justifying their continued operations and some employees refusing to wear masks based on a loose interpretation of 'medical exemptions'.

Local celebrity, Fick Rairman, was cautiously positive 'Well agh, it is important, that we agh, all do the right thing and wear a mask, wash your hands and sign in." He said with a grimace on his face given the uncertainty of an imminent hard lock down for everyone.

In a sign of the time, Tom Wallace managed to clear a building supply company when picking up some material this afternoon as news broke. "It's just my allegies - bloody wattles have got me" he spluttered, as everyone else dropped what they had a ran for the exit.

Sure it is Tom. We know you love a chicken pie for smoko.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

17/08/2021

*** Essential Business... Probably Not Essential ***

Regional NSW has now been lumped into the Sydney cesspool and went into lockdown on Saturday afternoon.

But it was when Boss Lady Berejiklian laid down the law on what was considered essential, there were a few raised eyebrows across Temora. Whilst there was the usual healthcare workers and emergency services on the Authorised Workers list, there were also a few suspect entries.

We spoke to one garden centre yesterday about their exemption to open. "Well everyone now has so much time on their hands, why can't they garden? Time in the fresh air and some Vitamin D from the sun cures COVID, just ask my friend on Facebook, aparently she been researching it more than the scientists!" they said.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for pubs, gyms, knock-shops and hairdressers who have been forced to close. "I can still be a s*x worker and wear a mask!... it's not like I kiss them... that's an extra $40 for the 'girlfriend experience'. You can't catch the spicy cough from semen" Said long time Aurora Street Madam.

Ultimately it really comes down to the question - do you think you're essential? Because if you find yourself asking that - you probably aren't.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

25/07/2021

*** Anti-vaxxers Continue To Push The Boundaries ***

As protests erupted in major cities, it was a sub-sect of Temora’s 'finest' shouting FREEDUMB, that was the loudest chorus heard over the weekend.

Despite COVID-19 coming drastically closer to our little town after hitching a ride on the back of some sweaty removalists in Cootamundra. The antivaxxers continued to post pseudoscience articles and opinions from some very suspect sources on Facebook or dribbling sputum to whoever will listen.

"It's all a giant conspiracy from big pharma and the new world order. They want to lock us up in our houses and keep us quiet and afraid. We wont stand for it anymore" said the recently announced libertarian, part-time anarchist and keen permaculturalist.

It is also quite alarming, that despite it now being required by law to use the QR sign-in and wear a mask, many of these simple folk continue to flout the rules. The Temora Times can only assume that they have a serious physical or mental illness that would exempt them from wearing one (which kind of makes sense).

We all know these people won't ever consider getting a jab, but they are happy for it to spread just to prove a point. Ultimately, snitches don't get stitches or catch COVID. So we encourage all readers to use the Crime Stoppers website to dob in a di****ad - then get themselves vaccinated.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

13/07/2021

*** Ex-team Mate Arrested In Completely Unrelated Coincidence ***

In an interesting turn of events a former Dragon's player was arrested for serious drug supply charges in the same week as the infamous BBQ that cost $300k+.

It has been rumoured that along with plenty of arm curls, a fair few nostril races were happening at the unsanctioned club event. With one player even leaving his I.D card on the table as he decided he had enough energy to run home. Police are yet to confirm the allegations and rumours, but given the very close proximity - it really makes you wonder.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

05/07/2021

*** Sports Star Cops Massive Fine ***

Temora royalty and local legend Zac Lomax has been a naughty boy and broke some big rules over the weekend.

While most of us walk past the QR sign-in code and continue to have more than 5 visitors in our houses, it's a bit different when you're a high-profile sportsman. And the NRL players, showing their intelligence, decided to kick on at a team mates shack, where it's been suggested that a neighbour (and probably a Bulldogs fan) dobbed them in.

Lomax who has been struggling with a thumb injury - has only played 8 games this season, but clearly has no issue bicep curling cans and was hit by a $1000 fine from police. However, it was the NRL that came down hard on him and the other players involved, copping a $31k beauty.

In what would be a devastating financial blow for most people, Lomax is halfway through a $3 million dollar contract and a close friend who recently spoke to Zac said "Chump change. Works out to be like 0.01% of what he'll make. He's not too worried"

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

18/06/2021

*** No Helmet - No Worries ***

Riding a bike is a right of passage for most Temora children and wearing a helmet has been the law since that advent of Stackhats back in the day. But it seems whilst the children are very good at wearing slid lids, their teenage siblings and local gullies have an issue with protecting their scone.

In a turn of events the Police have recently announced that it's not really a priority, "Look, in the scheme of things, it's a slap on the wrist or at the worst a small fine. It's just too much paperwork if I can be honest." said Sgt Cole Pepperman.

"We're not into chasing people for the small crimes, or even the big crimes when they are too connected and want to keep it on the downlow. When was the last time a tradie got named for going DUI? Sometimes it's just easier to just pick 'em up, let 'em sober up, then point out the odd jobs we've been meaning to do around the house. A win-win situation for all." he said.

When the Temora Times asked the Sargeant if there had been any further leads about the cemetry vandalism now that it's been close to 10 years. He abruptly ended the call.

Maybe that crime was too small... or someone was too connected.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

05/06/2021

*** Two-Child-Couple Aparently Happy ***

In a shock to the local families of Temora, Will and Justine Bloom have recently announced that 2 kids is enough for them and that they'll actively try not to have anymore children in the future.

It is well known that Temora bucks the national average of 1.8 children per family with an amazing 3.5. But, it actually shook a number of townsfolk when they heard the Bloom's news this week.

Town busybody, Margery Jaxson speculated that Justine must be having fertility issues and that her time was up, "If you're not having children at 22 your ship is quickly sailing." said the mother of 8.

Whilst real estate guru and soon to be multimillionaire, Jacqui Wellow believes that it is a factor of the rental crisis and booming house prices that stop young rabbits from having more children due to lack of bedrooms.

Even the local Pastor had his opinion on the matter, "She just needs to get on her knees and pray harder." To which Mr Bloom assured that "She (Mrs Bloom) spends plenty of time on her knees, you don't need to worry about that" he said with a wry smile.

One person who was happy with the decision was the regularly outraged and annoying environmentalist Greta Moorse. "Families should most definitely be having less children, we only have one planet and it cannot sustain the current population..." she said before I fell asleep.

Not that Will and Justine have to justify their decision to anyone, but they did say it was more of a financial choice. "The 'Family Pass' at most things and events is 2 adults and 2 kids, any extra kids and you're paying for the parasite."

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

16/05/2021

*** Tonkin Street Eyes Off Award ***

Residents of Tonkin Street are looking at a loophole to help them secure victory in the Best Street Award this year. The title has long been forgotten about and hasn't been handed out for years. But street matriarch Maxine Miller was optimistic "If it's a 1 horse race, it's a one horse race, we can't help it if no one else wants it" she said.

However once some of the other 'Blue Chip' streets got wind of the plan, they were less than impressed. One Carson Street resident who didn't want to be identified said "That's bu****it, we've won the award more than any other street, if that hell highway wins it, it makes a mockery of the entire system. If they nominate - then so do we"

Not to be disheartened by competition, Tonkin Street households have already started putting their junk out the front of their houses and on the nature strip in the hopes of a future hard rubbish collection by the council.

They are also looking at creative ways they might be able to fund a communal lawn mower to keep the street looking pristine. "When I was cleaning up I found some used syringes and a couple of bags of shard (crystal methamphetamine), we might try raffling them off. 1 ticket for $1 or 5 for $3 something like that" Maxine said.

Where do I buy tickets!?

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

30/04/2021

*** Black Ash Continues To Fall ***

Temora has once again had ash fall across the area, clogging gutters in landing on cars. The ash, is coming from the North East of the town and being carried on a slight breeze as a result from the burning of stubble in preparation for the next harvest.

But one elderly WW2 widow was a little more skepticle. "Its those bloody Germans from Trungley Hall way at it again. They love burning things; stubble, books, people. Anyone missing any Jewish friends?"

Lest we forget?

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

26/04/2021

*** Houses Edge Closer To The Million Mark ***

A mans house is his castle - and there are quite literally castles in France that are far cheaper than the latest offerings in Temora.

In a shock to the town, a pretty average 4 bedder, no pool, no shed, standard block, sold recently for $650,000+. Local Real Estate Agent Jacqui Wellow was pretty stoked with the result but wasn't able to give us an interview when we called "Sorry can't talk, I'm off to pick up the new AMG Mercedes. Bit of a sales present for myself... and tax write-off"

The new owners, who wished to remain anonymous did give us a comment "Yeah we sold the farm for a motsa, so it wasnt much of a stretch, practically small change. Might even buy next door just to put a shed on it"

The sale hasn't gone unnoticed with Local Member for Parliament Steph Cooke, now eyeing off a couple of the old housing commission shacks, that haven't been burnt down. "We've got an election upcoming, would be nice to go into it with a big cheque book. If I could offload them for half a mil, I'd be stoked" She said.

And sadly it's not just the buyers paying the premium now. A French couple who are starting work on the new solar farm have been asking for rentals for months now. "I got sick of asking, what people were wanting was more than our wages combined. We're probably just going to get a Combi and stay at the carpark near the railway, we hear it's the best caravan park in the area" they said.

How do I get a piece of that commission?

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

11/04/2021

*** Sponsor Gets Another Free Year ***

Abe McGaune is absolutely cheering after another free year of club sponsorship. You see Abe hasn't paid his sponsorship money at the local footy club for 5 years now.

"Another year, another 'yeah maybe - we'll see, send us through the package options' text to the Club President. Then I rocked up today and low and behold the business sign around the fence is still there and I even managed to get free entry because the boys on the gate think I'm still chipping in for their match payments!"

Temora Dragons President, Dan Gibley said "We have to hedge our bets and hope they pay, it's not like we've got businesses knocking down the door to get a sign on the sidelines. But, I can guarantee that the moment we paint over it, they'll stump up the cash again, then we have to pay for it to be put up again."

New owners of the Railway Hotel were just as stoked at this long held arrangement. "The pub hasn't been open for years but when we launch shortly the signs are still up. Who knows, we might try to get away with it next year."

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

01/04/2021

*** The Casual Catholics Have Once Again Been Put In Their Place. At The Back - On The Wobbly Pews ***

Jack and Melissa Tweedle along with their 2 children, were shot looks of confusion from the regular parishioners at the Good Friday Mass this morning. Despite growing up in Temora and all being christened in the very church, they may as well have been Jewish with the reception they recieved.

Claire Hopgood a regular attendee, with her 6 children, explained the situation "They came in and missed the holy water, fumbled the sign of the cross and forgot to genuflect before taking up a prime position in the first 10 rows. Like the good worshipper I am, and in the spirit of forgiveness. I told them to go out, have another go, then sit towards the rear."

Father James was just as disapointed, "They come to me to get married and have to attend x amount of Sundays, their kids have been dipped but don't even go to the Catholic school. Apart from Christmas and Easter, we don't see them, but they do always seem forget their money for the collection plate" his holiness said.

Young Tom Tweedle who just turned 7, really summed up the whole situation when seeing Father James for the first time "Is that Jesus? I thought he was supposed to be white!"

Who else forgot to buy grog yesterday?

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

25/03/2021

*** Letter To The Editor ***

It's no wonder the Temora Independent is a running joke around town. Why it chooses to continue to publish 'I know you are, but what am I?' letters to the editor is beyond me. It's not journalism, not even close.

Mummy was not happy!

From the premier news service in Temora.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop.

23/03/2021

*** Flooding Causes Major Headache For Rate Payers ***

The sky beers are once again falling and as predicted half of Temora has flooded and the other half becoming very soggy.

One Ex-Services patron commented "How the !@ #$ am I suppose to get in to play the slappers? It's the last couple of weeks of JobKeeper, I just want to hit it big each day."

Sadly, local shopkeepers were again disheartened by the thought of having to close their shops to clean up the mess. "This happens year after year after year, the question is WHY!" shouted cafe on Richard Suckling. "Drainage has always been a problem but it seems the council is happy to take our rates without providing any infrastructure to fix it" he went on to say.

Local celebrity, Fick Rirman, gave us a comment as he was floating away in his boat "Oh well, we can't help the weather."

Yeah but you can fix the bloody drainage.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

21/03/2021

*** Alcohol - The Real Winner at Ardlethan ***

It was a cold and wet race day at the annual picnic races held yesterday in Ardlethan.

Event organisers were absolutely thrilled to see the geegees back on track after last year was cancelled due to COVID and the previous year was an absolute dustbowl. "It's just great to see the punters coming through the gates again. Most of them loaded with a fistfuls of pineapples ($50's) or even the elusive murray cod ($100) from the recent cropping windfall across the region" said Mel Chester of the Ardlethan Jockey Club.

Rotarian Jimmy Schafer who was running the bar could barely keep up with the demand for alcohol. "By the time they were going in the ice, they were coming back out again. In the end we were just selling them straight out of the box - bypassed the ice completely - it was cold enough anyway."

Whilst 'champagne' (sparkling wine) and prosecco was a popular choice for ladies early on. Most ended up on rum because all good country birds know that only Bundy will ward off the wickedest chills.

Most of the older ladies were dressed appropriately, it was once again the young 18-20something year olds who were dressed to impress - wearing not much all. "If I had a dollar for every frozen ni**le I saw, I'd have enough for a new Cruiser!" said young lad Jack Cartwright who clearly overestimates everything. "I must have drank atleast 30 beers" he mumbled as he stumbled off alone unsurprisingly.

Did anyone actually see a horse race?

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

12/03/2021

*** Local Real Estate Wins National Awards ***

A local real estate office in Temora has managed to pull off a coup by securing 2 major awards in the same week.

"The first award came as a bit of a surprise, but is essentially a popularity contest on the internet" said manager Magnus Charlatan.

"The best part is that it's judged on the suburb and none of the other real estates in town signed up to be in the running. It was a one horse race, we just forgot we'd entered!" he said.

The second achievement was something Magnus was particularly chuffed about. The 'Friends of China Award' is only handed out to those who are willing to go that extra yard and support Chinese Nationals find employment in the bush.

"It's an amazing award and shows what can happen when you're willing to put your prejudices to one side and look beyond race." Mr Charlatan said.

"I was a little taken back with the prize though, a nice trophy and an even nicer yellow envelope, filled with yellow notes, and all for employing a couple of yellow people!" he finished off saying.

Um what?!

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop.

26/02/2021

*** Telstra Service Back Up And Running ***

A significant proportion of the township has breathed a sigh of relief now that Telstra mobile service has sorted itself out after a couple of days on the blink.

"I actually had to talk to my family, for the first time... in like forever. Like actual conversation instead of a raised eyebrow over the phone," said 17 year old Scoota.

"I've always just hotspotted my phone to the telly or watched netflix on my phone at night, that my cousin pays the account for. Geez commercial television has gone downhill since I last watched it. Some show about a mini golf competition. They've obviously never seen me a Puttyfish & treasure . Hole in ones for days, I could of won heeps. We have a saying around here, any holes a goal and any moles a practise hole hahaha" he laughed.

"Then to top it all off, some gronk kept rubbing it in about how good Optus was. You can guarantee they've never been North of Reefton. May as well use smoke signals out there"

Thank f**k that's over.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

18/02/2021

🥇

18/02/2021

*** Testing Testing Testing ***

Just seeing if we have been Zucked like all the other reliable news outlets in Australia.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

18/02/2021

Testing testing

Just seeing if we've been Zucked under the new 'No news on Facebook'

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

18/02/2021

*** Facebook Can't Stop Me ***

With Mark Zuckerberg and his Zuckerbots now shutting down any and all news service. I am pleased to announce the The Temora Times has been unaffected by the wide sweeping clean-out.

"This is any important decision for our little town," said local celebrity, Fick Rirman. "Without a dedicated news service in Temora, how else would Temorans find out about the key goings-on. Read a paper paper and add to climate change? No, our town is better than that. This is buy far the best source of news in the region."

We couldn't agree more. Take that PRIME7 News Wagga

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

29/01/2021

*** Christmas All Year Round ***

One Temoran family takes Christmas very seriously. Despite it being nearly February, the Christmas decorations and lights are still up and on proud display at the Kitchener Road property.

Matriarch of the family, Jenny Jennings, has been trying to get her deadbeat husband to take the festiveness down but hadn't had much success when we spoke to her "The bloke just can't be ****ed. How hard is it? I asked him to put them up, now I'm asking him to take them all down. We're not ****ing elves, this isn't the North ****ing Pole and it's not as if the prick has anything else to do."

This house isn't alone in it's Christmas spirit and whilst most homes pack up the tinsel and lawn ornaments before New Years, there are a few around town that leave them up all year round. However, they tend to be lights on the roof not the nature strip.

"Why can't we have candy canes and fake snow all year round?" Said deadbeat husband James, whilst necking a Tooheys stubby.

"Who made you the boss of Christmas? Don't tell me what to, you're going the right way for a glassing. JobKeeper paid good money for that, why can't I keep it up till next December? You're just a ****ing Grinch. You wanna go? Huh, huh, huh?" James yelled at me; whilst throwing bottles as I drove away.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop

23/01/2021

*** 2021 Big Year For Pig Do**in' ***

Local young bloke and Temoran gully Jacko Wilson-Gardner, thinks that this is the year he finally gets a hog for his dog. "Yeah, I've been using COVID restrictions as a pretty solid excuse not to take Buster out bush, despite the fact it's all a scam anyway" he said.

When Jacko got Buster he had every aspiration of heading out each week. "Me missus wanted me to spend 3 grand on one of them designer dogs, boy did she get a shock when I came home with a bull arab-stag hound-great dane-rottweiler cross, he only cost me $2,000. Bargain. I was able to get away with calling him a pug for a week or two before I had to come clean. She started asking questions when he was 10 weeks old and up to her knee" laughed Jacko.

The truth is, after two years Buster continues to live in the backyard of their Tonkin Street rental. Only managing to get out once when the house next door burnt down last year. "It's bu****it, bloody farmers won't let on their places, think we're untrustworthy or something. Selfish pricks. I also lost my licence for 5 years for drink driving so theres also the problem of getting out there. But when I get it back it's game on... after I finish building the dog box for the Triton that I started 3 years ago. Might even get another pup, so they can hunt as a pair" he finished off saying.

Grose Drinkwater - with the scoop