18/02/2024
YOU LOOK SO MUCH HAPPIER, MUM!
YOUโRE MORE FUN NOW, MUM!
These words were like music to my ears, as it seemed like an eternity since I had felt this way, and had shown this to the outside world.
Yet, this is worlds away from how my life was several years ago.
You see, something so soul-destroying and shattering happened out of the blue, that the tears are flowing down my face as I write this now. That raw lump of grief is still stinging in my throat, like it happened yesterday.
My then-husband, decided to walk out on our marriage, without any clue or telltale signs. He had been secretly planning this for 12 months prior, and I had no idea.
We had married only 6 years before, in a fairytale setting overseas. The icing was still settling on the wedding cake in the cupboard!
We have two beautiful girls who were only 2.5 and 5.5 years old at the time โ just babies really.
From the moment they were born, I was the happiest mum on the planet, and I expected our family unit to last forever.
But that all changed so suddenly, and so brutally, that it took my breath away. It felt like our whole world had collapsed in the blink of an eye.
His words cut like shards of glass. I couldnโt wrap my head around the gravity of his decision to end our marriage and walk away without any remorse. I felt like a can on the shelf which had reached its used-by date, and was casually tossed aside for something better.
Andโฆโฆthe circumstances worsened with each day that loomed. More letters from the lawyers, and more uncertainty and stress as I tried to keep my head above water in trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings that crashed over me like a tidal wave, together with navigating the crazy logistics that were now forced upon us.
I had to sell the house we had only moved into 2 years prior. This was our dream home, overlooking a waterfront haven. A place that was literally one of those places that I thought only other people lived in. Now we had to let go of that illusion, and were faced with endless visits from real estate agents wanting to secure the sale of this property, which I had unsuccessfully tried to hang onto in the settlement.
The worst part by far, was seeing the pain, distress and confusion in the innocent eyes of my two beautiful girls. I felt like a complete failure as a mum. I felt like I had let them down. They were now also forced into this bottomless pit of trauma and fear.
I could barely keep myself from disappearing further down into the quicksand, but I somehow managed to also comfort and console the girls. Make them feel like we still have our own family to lean into. There was so much crying, confusion, and despair between us that it felt like the darkness would never lift.
The reality was so incomprehensible, that I kept pinching myself, hoping that it was one of those nightmares that you wake up from and thank God that it was just that.
I felt like we were scrambling around in a tornado of pain, uncertainty, fear, and trauma, and I could see no way out at the time.
He had left us when the contract with my current employer was due to end, as that company was outsourcing my role. I had no job lined up, because the purpose of us moving to our dream home, was for me to give up my job and become a full-time mum instead โ to cherish those impressionable years, and really experience the glory of motherhood.
I managed to have two interviews, and I got offered both of those jobs โ the same day. I remember somehow getting through the interviews, as I was sick with a throat infection at the time, from the stress of everything. I chose the job with the most money, so that I could sustain us, but it felt like an enormous responsibility had been dumped on my shoulders.
The downside to this new job was the 3 hour round trip every day, to get into the city. That was 15 hours a week just in travel time, whilst trying to deal with selling the house, finding a new home, learning a new job, going through endless court cases, and fighting for my girls.
Furthermore, I had now lost the support network that I previously had, so the girls were in daycare from 6.30 am until 6.00 pm, Monday to Friday whilst I worked. I felt like an absent mum. I felt like we were trapped in a perpetual struggle of literal survival, day-by-day. We struggled, prayed, and survived the next few years by waking up each day and just getting through it hour by hour, or sometimes it felt like, minute by minute.
I know that God was looking over us, giving us guidance, and teaching me such valuable lessons about myself, my soul journey, and faith. These lessons will serve me for the rest of my life. Slowly, but surely the blessings then came to replace the suffering, for all of usโฆโฆโฆโฆ.
I did a lot of internal shifting of my subconscious beliefs and traumas, to replace with the most radiant and uplevelled true version of myself. This then radiated to the girls, and they also became more confident, calm and empowered.
Two years after the separation, we found our own dream family home, serenity overlooking a nature park, with a marina in the distance (occasionally we are privileged to watch the dolphins dance in here), birds chirping in the trees surrounding us, and kangaroos in the reserve close by. It was an entirely new book, not a new chapter. A book that we were now the authors of. It felt like a kaleidoscope of hope, instead of the dark, soul-destroying clouds that had once engulfed us.
Through revelations, I began to see that we could change the trajectory of our lives. Life is not meant to be about struggle, pain, constantly treading water, and feeling like an exhausted mouse on a treadmill, collapsing at the end of each day. Itโs not about being separated from your children in order to earn $$ for time.
I started searching for other ways to sustain our little family of three.
My groundhog days were mostly filled with travelling to work in the city, working, travelling back from work, and doing housework, cooking, and spending the leftover remnants with my girls.
I just know that there are other parents out there who have experienced the pain of separation and divorce, who are struggling to be everything to their children. Shouldering the responsibility of being that single parent, day in and day out. Yet feeling like there is something much more to life, that will shine upon you, and reveal your true meaning and purpose โ to create such a lifestyle that you never thought was possible before. To literally bring your dreams into reality.
Can anyone relate to this?
I then had an epiphany in 2018 when my 9-year-old daughter gave me a hand-made โgift voucherโ for Motherโs Day. It said: โMy only wish is for mummy to spend more time with meโ. My heart splintered into a thousand pieces when I read that. So brutally honestโฆ.
So, I started to look outside of the matrix that we felt trapped in, to see what was out there.
I joined more courses than I care to remember. I spent tens of thousands of dollars on what I thought was the answer, but just didnโt work out that way. Many, many late nights learning new skills, and trying new business models, to no avail. I kept feeling like I was missing that (big) something that truly aligned with my beliefs and values. Something I could really dive deep into, to generate a beautiful new life for us.
Then, one day I clicked on an inviting opportunity, and I thought to myself โThis is the last time I am going to take a chance on myself, and I will make this work, no matter whatโ. No more chances after this.
So, I went all inโฆโฆ.
I dived into the world of digital marketing, learning a new skillset of earning $$ from home, so this Mumma can stay home some more and be with her kids! I tapped into a business model that has the education there for me to learn and grow. This also has automation in business, and thatโs what gives me the time flexibility I so crave. Already done-for-you sales and processes, pre-built websites, a sales team to do my sales calls and someone else to do paperwork and the shipping of products.
Not only that, I am being mentored by 6, 7 & 8 figure entrepreneurs who have walked this path before me, where I get to leverage their experience and be guided by them every step of the way.
This is the new era of business. Because now more than ever, itโs no longer a luxury to earn an income online, itโs a necessity.
I discarded the excuses, the self-sabotage, the false beliefs, and the gridlock that we were living in, to throw open that door and reveal the true me, the one that I had been depriving all along.
So yep - I released what was truly holding me back โ ME!
I realized that happiness, emancipation, and living a life of meaning and true purpose, was my responsibility. And no one else can provide this for me.
Now I feel thrilled to be on this wonderful pathway to success in all its glory.
Now, I am living the life I was always meant to live โ with values that align with my soul and purpose.
Are you looking to create more time flexibility your life, to create financial independence for yourself, and to truly reach the potential that you know is burning inside?
It feels like I have come home to myself, and I cannot wait to support you and share this new journey โ for you!
Please comment โREADYโ below, so that I can provide more info!
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