The Hobart Scoop

02/09/2021

01/09/2021

Report: Collegiate Girl fairly fu***ng sure Fiancè didn't spend 3 months pay on that cheap ass ring

Collegiate alumni Gretel Basile-Farr (28) is rethinking her life plans after receiving a less than dazzling engagement ring from Fiancè Scott Hazell (31).
Despite a happy courtship up to this point, Miss Basile-Farr was shocked last week to receive a less than 3 Carat VS1 Solitaire Diamond in an 18C gold band.

"I wasn't fooled by that trash," said Gretel.

"I aced my course GEM23561: precious stone assessment - which, for your information, is only available at Collegiate, so I can spot an inferior stone in a flash. At most, that s**t ring cost Scott $30k."

"I don't even want to marry him anymore. What was I thinking? He went to fu***ng New Town High! Pfffftttt!"

Scott is unfortunately unavailable for comments.

31/08/2021

Report: It's a girl!

Late this afternoon, a large plume of pink smoke was spotted in the Rokeby area. Our follower believes the source of the smoke to be a 2003 Holden Commodore, using "gender reveal" tyres.

When approached regarding the noise and pollution, the driver of the vehicle reportedly told our follower to "rack off" and that he can do what he wants with his fortnights centrelink pay. It is not understood which female present is the lucky expecting mother.

More to come.